Page 120 of Ricochet
“Ophelia!” Storm barked behind me, his voice sounding closer than before. Oh God, what did I get myself into? What did I get my heart into?
“Phee.” I looked up, my eyes colliding with the mess I created. What happened to the boy I used to know? I was such a fucking hypocrite. I lied to him, brought him to his knees, and I wanted revenge. For what?
For him having too much love for me? For the way he cared for me when nobody else gave a shit? For every single time he cleaned my wounds, every kiss, every touch… Who was I really hating?
“I am so sorry,” I croaked, pulling myself closer to him. “I am so fucking sorry, Kieran. So, so sorry. What did I do? What did I do to you? I can’t… I can’t do this.”
“Phee.” His hand traveled over my cheek, and he brought our foreheads together. “Phee, Phee, Phee…”
I clutched his hands with my shaky ones. I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t see everything he still felt for me, even after everything I’ve done.
“Do you have any idea how much I love you?”
“No, Kieran—”
“Because I do.” He kissed my nose, my cheek, “I love you so much. I will always love you, and it doesn’t matter if it’s in this life or another one. You will always be mine and I will be yours.”
“Kieran.” I gripped his hair as if it would keep him here with me. As if it would transport us back to the time where it was only the two of us, without all the sinister plans killing our happiness.
“Nothing and no one can take that away from me. Not my father, Storm, not even you, baby. Because it will always be here.” He pulled my hand to his chest. “My heart will always beat for you, and even when you can’t see me, I’ll always be there.”
“Stop it.” I tried pulling away from him. “You can’t love me. No one can love me.”
“Phee—”
“No, no, no!” I screamed. “You can’t love the darkness. You just… You just can’t. You never could, and it was fine—”
“I always loved your darkness,” he cut me off. “I always yearned for your darkness because you were the only one who could understand my demons. You were the first person I thought about in the morning, and the last thought before I fell asleep.”
“Please—”
“No, you have to hear this, okay?” He pulled me closer, so close, our chests were touching. “You need to hear this, because you have to forgive yourself. You have to learn to let go, Ophelia.”
“I could never let you go.”
“But you’ll have to. Baby, you have to.”
“Ophelia, we need to get going. The rest of their guards are going to be here soon,” Storm’s voice penetrated through the little bubble we created. “If you’re going to do wh—”
“Give me five fucking minutes,” I threw back at him without moving an inch from Kieran. His hair was coated in blood and cuts marred his face, but instead of looking like a demon, he looked like an angel. I was just too stupid to ever realize that.
“I want you to know,” I fisted his shirt, “that you were always enough. You were always more than enough, but I was the fucked up one.”
“Ophelia—”
“No, no, let me finish.” I took a deep breath and continued, “You were always the light to my darkness, and I am sorry I took it away from you. I am sorry my demons couldn’t dance with yours. All the lies, all the pain, I didn’t keep it away because I couldn’t trust you. I wanted to protect you from myself. I wanted you to live, safe from everything that I was, that I still am.”
“Baby—”
“I am broken, Kieran. I was probably broken even before I got involved in all of this. I just never realized that. There is this emptiness inside of me, this black hole eating away at my insides, and I don’t know how to stop it from spreading to everything I love. It’ll swallow me whole, and I don’t know how to stop it.”
“For fuck’s sake, can you just get on with it?”
Storm was pacing behind me, but I had to have this.
“Baby girl…” Kieran trailed off. “I forgive you, you know that?”
“I know.” I nodded. “But I never asked for your forgiveness.”
