Page 152 of Shamed
I follow her eyes, then promptly release the death grip I have on the steering wheel with an exhale. So much for me being her pillar today.
I’m sure that meeting the parents is nerve-wracking for anyone under normal circumstances.
But thesearen’tnormal circumstances.
And we’re unsure of how this is going to go.
Jayne’s mom, Candace, met with a lawyer named Gerald from her old firm yesterday, and after a phone call this morning, Candace wanted to meet with us immediately to discuss things.
I can’t stop my mind from drifting to worst-case scenarios, and wondering if they’re going to say she’s in a lot of trouble, despite it not being intentional.
I have no fucking clue what happens in a situation like this.
What if she has to do jail time?
It’s possible that nothing will happen at all, but these are things that have been circling my mind, and until we have all the answers, they will continue to do so.
The hardest part is knowing that I won’t be able to protect her from any of it, only be there as emotional and mental support.
So yeah, I may be fucking nervous about meeting her parents, but it’s far from the typical boyfriend meeting the parents situation, despite me never having had a girlfriend before.
I’m sure Jayne has been feeling even more anxious about this than I have.
While I’ve lain awake on sleepless nights, staring into the dark, she’s been tossing and turning beside me, mumbling in her sleep.
It’s been a few months since Jayne told her dad everything, and while she’s gotten together with him several times, I have yet to come along and meet him. They had a relationship to fix, and I wanted them to do it without my presence.
Plus, I’ve been keeping busy working on myself, preparing for whatever is to come.
I can’t deny that my chest aches every time I think about my initial reaction to Jacob’s arrest, and all my hateful thoughts toward him over the years. I regret it all, and hope for some kind of peace for him after all this is done.
Jayne came and met my mom for the first time a couple of months ago.
I had suspected that they’d connect immediately, but I wasn’t expecting to be ignored while they talked. I had to keep taking hold of Jayne’s hand just to remind her I was still in the room.
I know my mom would have loved any person who makes me happy and loves me as much as she does. But I think she especially liked Jayne after I told her the truth about everything.
Jayne has visited her every week with me since then, and has even gone there without me a few times.
“Areyouready?” I ask as we slip out of the truck.
Jayne takes hold of my hand when I’ve reached her side. “In some ways, I’m beyond ready. I know it’s absolutely time.” She looks up at me, a nervous smile on her face. “But the scared shitless part of me wants to go home and crawl back into bed.”
“Good thing I’m here to hold your hand.”
Staring up at the building, her grip on said hand tightens, then she inhales deeply and starts walking toward the entrance.
We make our way up to the twenty-fifth floor in silence, other faces and sounds lost in the background while we remain lost in our own thoughts.
One of those thoughts that circles more than once has me slowing my steps as we near her dad’s office. “Have you told them where I came from?”
I may have made progress when it comes to my origins, but something like that may alter how her parents see me, considering what happened to their daughter.
Jayne pauses, coming to stand in front of me. “No. It’s none of their business unless you want them to know. It has no bearing on our relationship.” Lifting a hand, she presses it to my chest. “Besides, you came from your mother, one hundred percent.”
Unable to resist, I lean down and press a kiss on her forehead. “Fuck, I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
