Page 150 of Shamed
Before I can reach for the next item I see, Mase slinks an arm around my stomach and hauls me back to the bed, trapping me beneath him.
Inky hair hangs over his forehead as he looks down at me. “Where are you going?”
“You deserve to have your friends. You deserve to be surrounded by people who care about and love you.”
People might hate him just for being associated with me. It would be similar to his childhood.
“And you?”
“I’m the last person who deserves any of that.”
Mase shakes his head, his expression appearing almost disappointed as he glides a finger over my cheek. “Wrong answer.”His finger moves from my cheek to brush over my lips, then chin. “You said your dad didn’t know about Dylan, right?”
“He didn’t.”
“So, you forgive him for keeping Dylan employed?”
My forehead bunches, unsure of what point he’s trying to make. “Of course I do. He didn’t know.” I shift underneath him, the warmth of his skin chasing away the cold. “What are you getting at?”
Mase’s sigh is heavy. “My point is that you easily forgive your father for harboring a sexual predator when he didn’t know. Yet you feel like you are undeserving of any type of forgiveness when you also didn’t know.”
I almost laugh. “Keeping someone employed and sending someone to prison arecompletelydifferent scenarios.”
“I know that. I really do. But do you honestly think you should be punished forever for a mistake? A mistake you made as a teenager, no less. Are you that unforgiveable?”
I swallow, dropping my gaze to his throat. He won’t like my answer to that.
Reading the response on my face, he tilts my chin back up to look at him. “Let me get this straight. You were sexually assaulted, and sent who you thought was the attacker to prison, then you suffered with the aftermath of that attack, lost your friends, dropped out of college, and let go of your dreams. Then you find out the truth and are given an ultimatum, andyou choose to protect your father and thousands of others while letting yourself be destroyed from the inside out. And still, you think you’re unforgiveable?”
I continue staring into his dark eyes. “Forgiving myself feels like I’m somehow betraying Jacob all over again. I keep thinking, why should I be happy when he likely isn’t.”
He looks me over, frustration there for sure, but there’s also understanding.
“I hope someday you realize that moving on doesn’t mean you’re condoning actions, or that you don’t care about what happened. It’s learning and growing. Using what you’ve learned to make a better version of yourself. And just know this: I have chosen to forgive you, even if you haven’t. And if you’ll have me, I’m choosing to be with you, no matter what happens moving forward.”
There’s a tenderness in his gaze that almost undoes me, forcing tears to well up and spill down the side of my face. How can anybody be this fucking perfect?
And this is coming from the same man who believed he was evil.
“Even if I were to forgive myself one day, I will never deserve you, Mase.”
Wiping away a fresh tear, he rubs it between his thumb and forefinger. “Maybe that’s what makes the best type of relationship. If both people feel like they don’t deserve the other,they’ll always be striving to be better for them, and not take their love for granted.”
“You might be right,” I whisper, my throat tight.
He dries the other side. “Are you willing to give it a try with me?”
My entire body melts beneath him.
How could anyone deny him anything?
How could heexpectanyone to deny him?
“It’s a crime for you to think you’re worth anything less than an immediate yes.”
I’ve never met a more kind or giving soul. And as if that wasn’t enough, to complete the package, he’s gorgeous beyond words with his dark features, kissable lips, and incredible body.
His lips pull to one side in a wry smile, and suddenly, the full extent of what he just said starts to sink in.
