Page 8 of Shamed
Fear jumps to the surface, and my eyes pop open. I try to scream, to lift my arms and shove him away, but my body doesn’t respond properly, and that only has me freaking out more.
Internally, I’m thrashing and screaming, but on the outside, nothing is happening.
Am I even awake? Is this real?
Finally, I’m able to force a sound from my throat, and he lifts off me, his blurry face slowly coming into view, though things are still spinning.
“Get away from me!” I feel like I scream it, but my voice sounds muffled to my own ears. “Stop touching me!”
The sting and ache in my lower half tells me it’s already too late and the realization brings on a wave of nausea, a crack forming in my soul.
How could he be so cruel?
Light from somewhere close—a flashlight or a phone—shines on him, and I manage to focus long enough to catch Jacob’s bright blue eyes staring back at me. I didn’t truly believe it was him at first, but here he is in the flesh. For some reason, seeing him makes it more real, scarier. And he’s far too fucking close.
My pulse spikes with the need to get away, and I attempt to throw my hands up in an effort to push him back. My movements are sloppy, but I manage to fling them up, which means I have partial control of my limbs again. Unfortunately, whatever I was trying to accomplish with that move failed miserably because within a second, he has my arms pinned against my body.Again.
“Jennifer, stop. I’m trying to help you.”
“No!” I struggle against him, terror wreaking havoc on my body. “You fu—you fuckin’ raped me.”
His face blurs again, but when it comes back into focus, I know my mind is playing tricks on me because his face looks stricken. It’s alie.
I see his mouth moving, but I’m trying too hard to get away from his filthy hands to let any words sink in.
In a moment of hesitation, I feel his grip on me loosen, so I take the opportunity to try to free one of my hands and make a swipe toward him. My nail makes contact, and the second he releases me and reaches for his face, I quickly drag myself away on shaky strength.
Run. Run! He’s a monster.
If I knew I could stand, I’d get up and run. But just accomplishing that small distance was hard enough.
Jacob looks from me to his blood-tipped fingers, and the air rushes from my lungs. Oh no. No, no, no. What if he retaliates and hits me again? Hurts me again.
The bruise on my cheek throbs as if to remind me of what happened earlier. I brush my fingers lightly over the ache as I frantically look around the area for something, anything I could use as protection, or maybe an easy escape.
“It wasn’t me, Jennifer.”
My head keeps swimming like it’s underwater, everything around me moving and shifting. Jacob’s face twists and turns, looking sad one minute and evil the next.
Stinging on my inner thigh draws my hand, and I feel the raised skin as if it were scratched. My stomach sours at the thought of his hands down there, making me want to hurl again.
The looming monster starts closing in on me, and I find myself shrinking back, holding my shaky hands out in frontof me in a poor attempt to keep him away. “No. Stay away.Please.” A sob chokes through my throat. “Stay away.”
Please.
I keep searching for anything,anything, anything.
Help!
My teeth are a constant clatter between breaths, my body shivering uncontrollably. I’m not sure if I’m even cold right now or if it’s shock blasting through me. Probably both.
“Jennifer, listen, it wasn’t me.”
Lies.I don’t want to listen to his lies.
Why would he actually admit to his actions? He’s already tried holding me down again.
Sirens in the distance grab my attention, and I jerk my head in that direction, a spark of relief making its way through my muddled mind. Are they coming here? Will they save me?
