Page 21 of Shamed
“I hope I’m not interrupting.” Dylan watches me with a smug look quirking one corner of his lips as I pass him on the way to the door, causing my insides to lean in the other direction.
“No, no,” my father tells him, looking at the laptop screen. “Come sit down. I want to show you something.”
Just before I walk through the door, I look back at them one more time. Dylan turns his head and winks at me, a smirk that looks anything but friendly on his face.
“Six months, Jennifer,” my father calls before the door clicks shut behind me. I pause for a moment on the other side before shaking my head and continuing down the hall.
Feeling dejected, I leave his office building in a rush.
Thankfully, I already made plans to meet the girls for coffee. It’s been a couple of weeks since we’ve hung out properly, but I’m hoping they’ll want to come back to my place and watch a movie. Anything, really, to get out of this funk.
Being the first to arrive, I pick a table in the corner by the window, then sit with my back against the wall, watching people come and go while I wait. It’s a cozy little place with abstract art along the walls and little lights hanging all over the place.
Twenty minutes later, right when the anxiety starts to creep in, Jersey pushes through the door to the café, wearing a striped sweater dress, her red-tipped hair in a high pony. She scans the tables, smiling when she sees me sitting back here, then rushes over.
“Hi.” I smile.
“Hey.” She collapses onto the seat across from me, causing a puff of men’s cologne to waft over. “How’s it going?”
“You smell like Matt.”
She laughs, biting her bottom lip. “Oh, we were just hanging out.”
I look past her at the door again. “Is Marni not with you?”
Jersey’s face does this twitchy thing and she shifts in her seat. “Uh, well, she was.” I keep looking at her expectantly. “She’s not coming anymore, hon.”
“What? Why not? She said you guys would be coming together.”
She shifts in her seat again, looking to the side. “We were all hanging together—some of the guys and some girls we’ve gotten to know. I guess she wanted to stay with them.”
A rotten feeling twists my insides, and my eyes drop to the table. She’s been growing a little distant lately, but I thought she was just busy.
Yeah, busy with other friends.
Though truth be told, I’m probably the one to blame for the space growing between us.
I know I’m a cocktail of contradictory emotions. I feel left out. Abandoned. Lonely. And yet I’m the one who has isolated myself by being the way I am now. I’m the one who couldn’t cut it being surrounded by our old friend group, or their new one.
Still, I can’t help but feel like she’s giving up on me.
“She told me to tell you she’s sorry and that she’ll definitely catch up with you soon.”
I force an awkward smile. “Sure. I’ll text her later.”
Jersey glances out the window and then back at me. “So, what did your dad want?”
“Oh, you know, just wanted to tell me how badly I’m doing at life.”
She lets out a puff of air. “I hope you didn’t listen to him.”
I shrug. “Maybe he’s right. I’m making a mess of school, my friendships . . . everything.”
“He’s not right.” She leans across the table and places her hands on top of mine. “You’ve just had a tough year and a half.”
A sudden, deep sense of longing for the old days hits me as I look at her, causing an ache to spread throughout my chest and stomach. “I miss you.”
“I miss you, too.”
