Page 128 of Shamed
My jaw aches from clenching it so hard, but my fucking heart aches more. “When did you find out it wasn’t him?”
She wipes under her nose, her tears falling freely. “Two years ago.”
I huff through my nose, shaking my head because I still don’t want it to be true.
But it all makes perfect sense now: why she’s been sabotaging her happiness for the past two years, why she’s punishing herself.
I tug my hair harder, the biting pain a way to tell myself that this is real. “Why was he still in prison, then? Did you tell anyone when you found out? Did you try to get him out?”
There’s desperation in my voice, because I need to know that she tried. I need to know that she’s not an awful human being.
Her breathing comes out faster. “I couldn’t.”
An incredulous sound escapes me. “Youcouldn’t? What does that even mean? You should have done everything in your power to fix it!” My eyes burn and my throat feels tight, like I can’t swallow properly. “And this whole time, you kept it from me. Why?”
“I couldn’t,” she repeats.
“What—You know what? It doesn’t even matter. I can’t even look at you right now.”
I stalk to her front door. I need to get out of here. I need to process this. I need . . .something.
“Please, don’t go, Mase.” I hear her scramble after me. “Let me explain.”
I whip around, almost causing her to barrel into me while her tear-streaked face and red eyes stare up at me. “Do you have any idea how many lives you’ve changed by sending Jacob to prison? Do you know how many you’ve ruined?” I swallow,my own guilt starting to surface like claws climbing my chest. “I fucking got as far away from him as possible because of my own damn demons, and he didn’t even do anything wrong.” My words are choked as they leave me. “And now, I’m going to have to live with that.”
Shoulders wound tight, I turn around and storm through her door, stomping down the wooden steps before coming to a stop at the bottom.
“Fuck!” I grip my head, heaving in air, but it feels like my throat was sewn shut.
Jacob wasinnocent.
Jacobisinnocent.
Dropping my hands, I stalk across the street, then turn around and walk back, an agonized sound ripping from my throat.
My back finds the side of the building, and I slide down, the cold ground instantly seeping into my pants as I collapse in a heap. I don’t give a fuck.
How? How could she do that?
I know I didn’t exactly treat him fairly after I heard what happened; in fact, I believed the worst of him, and I’ll have to sit with that for the rest of my life, but I wasn’t the one who accused him in the first place.
Fucking innocent.
I stab my thumbs into my eye sockets and exhale harshly, sitting with my turning thoughts for a long while.
Ten years.
He spentten yearsin prison for no reason, and she didn’t even try to get him out when she found out. Why the fuck wouldn’t she? Why did she leave him there to rot?
I can’t even—
Scrubbing a hand down my face, I try to calm the fuck down and regulate my breathing.
In . . . and out.
In . . . and out.
My eyes fall shut while I just sit and breathe.
