Page 100 of Shamed
Blinking a few times, he refocuses on me, shaking his head and breathing heavily. I realize he’s trembling as well. “Sorry.”
My breaths are fast and labored as I stare at him, half-lidded. “Don’t be. I just . . . I haven’t done this since beforethat night.”
Reality slips back into his eyes, but before he can respond, I lean in to kiss him again, my hands creeping up to the back of his neck to thread through his dark locks.
Mase delves back in, not as strongly as before, but no less passionate. He takes what I give, licking, sucking, and claiming. Touching and caressing.
I can’t remember getting this swept up in a kiss before, wanting to go further and give everything.
I suck his bottom lip between my teeth and tug, pulling another gruff sound from him.
But then he pulls back, abruptly standing before setting me on my feet in front of him. “We should stop.”
Breathless, I rest my hands on his chest, feeling his heart pounding inside. “Why? I’m okay.”
Gripping my hands, he lifts them off him. “We just should.”
My heart drops, all the courage and desire from a moment ago fizzling away, while some of the old feelings from long ago resurface. “Because I’m damaged goods?”
“What?” Mase chokes out. “No.God, no. You are not damaged.” Swallowing, he presses his forehead to mine, breathing in deeply, his nose brushing against mine. “Not at all.”
“But you don’t want me?”
Pulling back, he looks at me with pained conflict still in his eyes. “I want you so fucking much that I’m afraid of what I’m capable of.”
I bring one of his hands to my lips, brushing them back and forth. “I want you, too,” I tell him. “More than I’ve wanted anything in a long time.”
Mase shakes his head, but he’s not saying no.
Maybe he’s saying that I shouldn’t want him?
“What is it?" I whisper.
His chest rises and falls faster while his eyes bounce all over my face before landing on my lips.
“Fuck it.” A ragged sound comes from his throat right before he grips my jaw and captures my mouth once more, like he just can’t stay away.
Anticipation buzzes through my body, and I find myself being walked backward in a frenzy of tangled lips and tongues.
My back hits a wall. I don’t know which one, and for the moment, I don’t care.
It’s freeing,sofreeing, not to be tied to my fears for once. To not have the self-hatred lurking around every corner. I’ve somehow managed to block off that part of my brain.
I know I’m only on borrowed time, though. All the old feelings will come crashing down on me with a vengeance soon enough, so I’m going to enjoy this bit of peace while I can.
Mase presses his erection into me, his lips clumsily trailing along my jaw, while I run my hands over his muscular back. He’s so solid, his body carved from years of working out at the gym.
My panties are wet, nipples pebbled, and every inch of my skin is burning up. I don’t remember ever feeling this blood-thrumming need before.
I need him like he’s the antidote to the poison running through my veins.
A full body shiver runs through me when his hand makes contact with my stomach under the hem of my sweater.
He groans another curse against my lips, sounding tormented. “There are . . . handcuffs in your room. For me. You can take control, go as slow as you need.”
If I were thinking clearer, I might wonder a little more about why he has handcuffs, but I decide that I don’t want to know right now.
Eyes locking back on his, I nod.
