Page 47 of Wrecked
Clearing my throat and scolding myself internally, I move back, creating much-needed distance. “Good.”
The expression on her face changes in an instant from my obvious rejection, and I can hardly stand the look of disappointment that crosses her features.
“You're so confusing, you know,” she tells me, leaning back into the couch again and shaking her head. “You contact me, you have me over for dinner, you kiss me then tell me to leave, you come to my work, then tonight . . . the way you looked after me. And just now, you almost seemedangryat the thought of someone else touching me. It's confusing, Cam.” I know it is. And yet I can't fucking stop myself from wanting to be around her. “You–” Cutting herself off, she looks off to the side for a second before facing me again. “You've been with all of the girls at the races. But you won't give me a chance.”
A few beats pass as I stare straight at her, not quite knowing how to respond. How do I explain to her that it's different with them? That I have zero desire to spend any time with them but have found them to be a useful distraction? It paints me as an even bigger asshole, but I guess it's better she knows who she's dealing with.
It's not like she asked a question, but she's still waiting patiently for an answer to my behavior. Usually, I'd change the subject or ignore it completely, but I know I can't do that to her this time. She deserves an answer.
“I wasn't with all of them,” I tell her honestly, taking the glass from her hands and walking back to the kitchen to refill it just for something to do. “And we were never together, as in arelationship.”
Her head nods slowly. “You just–”
“Fucked them,” I answer for her crudely while bringing the water back to the coffee table.
She swallows. “Well, what if . . . what if that's all I want as well?”
Rubbing a hand over my face in frustration, I pace a few steps away from her. It would be a lot easier if thatwereall she wanted. “That's not you, Jaz.”
Frowning, she asks, “Why are you always making assumptions about me?”
Whipping around, I stalk over to the back of the couch and lean down so I'm talking directly into her ear. “You just want to fuck, Jaz? I'll tear your clothes off right now, get down on my knees and eat your pussy 'til I've had my fill, then I'll bend you over the back of this couch and have you crying out when I push my cock inside you. And I won't let up, taking a fistful of your hair while I pound into you, over and over and over again. And I'll watch it, too, my cock disappearing inside your pussy, until you've milked every last drop of cum from me.”
At the sharp intake of her breath, I push off the couch, standing straight again. I've had many daydreams of doing just that to her, and I have to adjust myself as the images play out in my mind.
“But then I'd leave,” I continue. “And I wouldn't contact you for another fuck until I thought my hand would no longer suffice, and the taste of your wetness was no longer on my tongue.” I trail my hand along the back of the couch as I move. “No, Jaz, that's not what you want.”
What I don't tell her is that I don't want that either, and I don't think I'dwantto leave, but she's too fucking good for me.
Her eyes are closed, and her cheeks are tinted slightly pink when I take a seat on the coffee table in front of her again. Then, softening my voice, I say, “I've already told you that I'm not good for you. I'll just wreck you. The life I live . . . the people I associate with, like tonight, you don't belong there.”
Her eyes fly open, a fire burning within them. “Doyou?” she shoots back, surprising me and successfully maneuvering her way into my head, pushing around the decisions I had already made. “Not one of those people came and saw you at the hospital. Did any of them come and help you at home when you needed it? Oh, that's right. It wasmewho you contacted to come. And I came because Iwantedto.” A heavy sigh passes her lips. “It just seems like you're only doing what you do because your friend is in prison.”
“It's not like that, Jaz.” I rise to my feet again, annoyed that she brought him up. “Look, I wish I could be better for you–”
“Why can't you try?” she cuts in, almost shattering my resolve. Why can't she just hate me like I do? “Because there doesn't seem to be anything stopping you from being better except for you. I think you're scared to take a chance on me because if you did, you'd actually have to make an effort with your life. Right now, it's easy enough to use your friend as an excuse to live a crappy life so that nothing more is expected of you.” When I don't reply for some long seconds, she sighs, gets up, and walks into the kitchen. “Just forget it, okay? Forget everything I said. God, I feel like I'm begging, and that's not me.” Crossing her arms and standing tall, although she's shorter than me, she adds, “Thank you for looking after me tonight, but I think you should go.”
“Jaz–”
“Please, just go.”
Releasing a heavy breath, I nod, tapping a hand on my thigh. Then, I turn around and walk through her door.
CHAPTER 21
JASMINE
The second he closes the door behind him, I release a frustrated groan and go collapse onto the couch, dropping my head into my hands. Embarrassment mixed with annoyance snakes its way up my chest and into my throat.
What iswrongwith me?
Yes, I like him, but seriously, when have I ever had to convince someone to be with me? Never. That's not me. Ugh, I sounded so desperate.
Getting up and grabbing a hair tie from my bag by the door, I throw my hair up into a bun and then go take the glass and bag of chips back into the kitchen. After putting the chips away and washing my glass, I open the window and lean a hip against the counter, staring out into the darkness while the air cools my skin.
Those dirty words he said to me had sent a wave of goosebumps all over my body and, at the same time, made me feel all hot. As much as I liked what he said he'd do to me, he was right. That isn't all I want from him.
And he warned me from the beginning, didn't he? I should have just let it go. It's clear he's attracted to me physically, but he doesnotwant anything more.
