Page 103 of Wrecked
CHAPTER 42
CAMPBELL
After swallowing down several more mouthfuls of my drink, I lean back in my chair and look across the small table at Trent. “And then she walked out of the room. I don't know what else I'm supposed to do.”
He considers me for a moment. “And whathaveyou been doing?”
“What do you mean? I've been going to meetings and shit. Working on not drinking.”
Crossing his arms across his chest, he nods slowly. “Which is really good. How's your coffee, by the way?”
“Not enough,” I admit, lifting it to my lips for another sip. “But it's good, thanks.”
The little family-owned coffee shop we're in close to Trent's work is quite busy, but we're tucked away in the back where we have a little more privacy, and it's quieter.
“What else?” he asks, tilting his head toward the sun streaming through the window.
“What else, what?”
“Don't play dumb. What else have you been doing? Working? Hanging out with other friends?”
One thing I like about Trent is that he's a straight shooter. He never takes my shit and doesn't shy away from telling me what I need to hear. That proved to be invaluable the first week when I was going through withdrawals and would frequently lash out at him.
“It's been hard enough just keeping myself from doing anything stupid, let alone adding anything else to it.”
Uncrossing his arms, he reaches for his own drink. “So, no working?”
I shake my head, tapping my fingers against my thigh.
I haven't told him that I don't really have any friends either, definitely not ones that I'd be willing to hang out with, at least. But he's probably already figured that out, seeing as I've only ever talked about Jasmine and Graham over the past month.
“So, you've just been going to meetings and seeing me?”
I shift uncomfortably and shrug. “And working out a little at home.”And, you know, driving around the entire city day after day just to waste time.“Anyway, I thought if I worked on that for her, she'd give me another chance.”
“And what are you doing for you?” he asks, leaning forward.
“Well, that would be for me,” I answer, my brows drawn together.
Shaking his head, he rests his elbows on the table. “You just said it was for her. Which is exactly what she said you shouldn't be doing.”
Turning to the side, I look out the window of the coffee shop, watching as people stroll by. “You think she's right.”
“I think getting her back is the ultimate goal for you. But what are you going to do when you have her? What are you going to do if something comes up that you find hard to handle? What if you guys have a fight? Look what happened just now. Things didn't go the way you wanted, and your first thought was to drink – which is why I'm here. But moving forward with her, is she going to be scared to set you off and then hold back or keep things from you?”
I flick my eyes back to him. I hate the thought of that. I would never want her to feel like she has to walk on eggshells around me.
“Yes, I think she's right,” Trent continues. “You need to be doing this for yourself. Otherwise, it cannot be sustained. You need to get yourself and your life in order before adding someone else to it.” Sitting back, he resumes his position with the crossed arms. “Let me ask you something. Have you dealt with the root of the problem?”
My sights drop to the coffee cup in front of me as a crease forms between my eyebrows. The root of my problems? Everything seemed to start with Jacob and my parents. And then I did the rest. I don't think there is anything I can do about the Jacob situation. And there is no way I'm going to talk to my mom and Brian. So, where does that leave me?
“You don't have to tell me your life story, but usually turning to alcohol instead of facing your problems has a starting point, and talking to someone like a therapist about those issues will help. Besides that, you need to keep yourself busy by working or doing something you enjoy. Not saying all of those things will resolve everything and make you better, but they will definitely help and make it easier. Frankly, the fact that you've gotten through a month with this woman being your sole motivator is amazing and shows how much you love her. But it's time to show yourself a bit of love.”
I'm at a loss for words, not knowing what to say or how to feel about what he said. I barely remember a time that I didn't hate myself.
A moment later, Trent pulls a pen out of his pocket and scribbles something onto one of the napkins in front of us before handing it over.
“What's this?”
