Miles:Apart from your cruel and unusual torture of our sweet baby, things are going ok. First official day as co-owner and Astrid and Enrique will NOT stop calling me Chef. Every time I say anything they go, “Heard, Chef,” and I’m about to fire them both out of spite. Other than that, though, things are pretty normal. Just hard to be away. Miriam spoiled me with the extra two weeks of paternity leave. She’s lucky I came back at all.
Jun:Heard, Chef
Miles:I am divorcing you.
Jun:Joke’s on you, you have to marry me first in order to do that ;)
Jun:but for the record, I’m joking… unless you want to get revenge tonight after Su-Jin is down, in which case I regret nothing. But for real, I am very proud of you. I already know you’re going to be amazing at this, and it sounds like Astrid and Enrique know it too if they’re already pulling your leg like they are. You think you can make it through a full day, or will I need to disconnect Su-Jin from his CoD game so you can come home for an afternoon snuggle?
He snapped and sent another picture of Su-Jin, this time with a badly photoshopped bottle of Mountain Dew and an open bag of Cheetos beside him. Patchy orange spray dusted his hands, lips, and chin. Su-Jin’s angry eyebrows were now even angrier.
Miles:Thank you. I’m trying to remind myself that Miriam wouldn’t have hired me for this job if she didn’t think I could do it. Working on limiting negative self-talk is so dumb. Maybe I like having low self-esteem, did my therapist ever think of that?? (Jk, I’ll be good, I promise. I will definitely complain about it the entire time, tho.)
Miles:I think I’m gonna try to make it through the full day. Not sure if I’ll make it, but I don’t want to become one of those helicopter parents who can’t let their kid out of their sight 24/7. Plus I don’t want you to think I don’t trust you with Su-Jin alone. Although, youdoknow you’re supposed to put the Mountain Dew in a bottle, right? And warm it up in hot water, NOT the microwave, and test it on the underside of your wrist to make sure it’s the right temperature? C’mon, we covered this in parenting class…
Jun:Oh, right. ngl I did not absorb much. I was way too busy thinking about how lucky I am to be here in person with you. So should I like mash the Cheetos or??
Miles:Su-Jin doesn’t even have teeth, Jun. You PUREE that shit, obviously. Gotta go put in another batch of scones. The new orange pecan recipe I was messing around with at home has been a major hit. (Trophy when??) I’ll be back in a few.
Jun:Idk all of this sounds sus to me. Have you felt how hard he can gum you when he puts his mind to it? Pretty sure if the little dude wanted to, he could gum just about anything to mush on his own.
Jun:But yeah, take your time. I will just be over here getting to the bottom of who’s behind Big Baby (which is similarly evil to Big Pharma, but cuter and focused on turning its victims into indentured servants… uh… well, shit, that’s Big Pharma, too. If you don’t hear back from me it’s because I’ve come too close to figuring out the truth.)
With Miles allegedly off baking scones, Jun removed all of Su-Jin’s gamer accessories and scooped him up into his arms. He was usually out cold within half an hour after his morning bottle, and the little dude’s eyelids were drooping. It was bassinet time.
He laid Su-Jin down and made sure he was comfortable and dry. In those scant few seconds, Su-Jin fell deeply asleep. Smiling, Jun brushed the hair back from his forehead, then returned to his desk. He’d been able to meet his production schedule during Miles’s pregnancy, but due to the renovations on the building, he hadn’t been able to get ahead, and now that he was gearing up for their next big step forward, he wanted to make sure he had videos banked so he’d still have content coming out even when he took time off.
Recording went well.
Su-Jin was used to noise, and Jun’s reactions didn’t bother him. Thank god he wasn’t known for his horror gameplay—he did play spooky games from time to time, but if his claim to fame had been shrilly screaming at anything and everything instead ofchill comedy commentary, it likely would have been a different story.
About an hour later he’d recorded a full video, and a few messages from Miles were waiting on his phone. He took off his headphones, kicked back in his chair, and opened up their conversation.
Miles:If They get you, I will avenge you.
Miles:In other news, I am officially losing my mind. I thought I was doing well pretending like I was a normal human being doing a normal human job and not a certified insane person about to go freak out on everyone like that one chimpanzee that ate that lady’s face that one time, all bc I have been away from my small human for less than five hours, but… I am afraid to say I am failing my mission spectacularly and will soon be found out.
Miles:I miss my baby. How am I going to handle going out to dinner with you tonight? I know it’s supposed to be a celebration of my promotion and everything, but what if nuclear war breaks out, or the zombie apocalypse starts, and we’re just sitting there eating Thai food too far away from our baby to save him?? Aaaaaaahh. I may be overthinking. Please send coping mechanisms.
Jun checked the timestamp. The messages had been sent within the last five minutes, so there was a good chance Miles was still on his phone—hopefully somewhere private, since Jun had a perfect, although somewhat risqué, coping mechanism in mind.
Jun:Nowhere’s too far away when your baby daddy is a pro gamer. Do you know how many zombie apocalypses and nuclear outbreaks I’ve survived already? You don’t get a body like this by sitting on your ass playing games all day.
He set up his phone on his desk tripod and popped up onto his feet, lifting his shirt with one hand and pulling down the waistband of his sweats with the other to show off his body. While he’d lost his home gym after selling his house in LA, he’d tried to stay on top of his workouts here in Aurora, and he was looking good. Toned, tight, fit. Miles had expressed appreciation for his body more than once in the heat of the moment, and Jun figured a little preview of what he could look forward to that night after dinner might help take his mind off things.
Jun:I gotchu, babe. I’ll keep you safe. You and Su-Jin both.
Miles’s reply came almost immediately.
Miles:I know you will, and I know I’m just being dramatic, as always. It’s just like, I knew having a kid would make me feel a lot more anxiety about everything, and I prepared for that, but I didn’t realize how much I would MISS him, even when I’m gone for just a few hours. BUT I know it’s something I have to get used to, and as much as I miss our little one, I miss you too. I know everything has been about the baby lately, and we didn’t have a whole lot of time to spend one-on-one before we were suddenly responsible for a whole human being, so I am looking forward to having you to myself for a littlewhile. I just… might be a little insane about it at the same time lol
Miles:I hope you understand. Like, I’m sure you do, but… bleh. Parenthood, man. Complicated in ways you wouldn’t even expect.
Su-Jin stirred and started to fuss, so Jun left his desk as it was and went to tend to his son. He took him into his arms and rocked him, talking to him in hushed tones, and began to wander through the house to stretch his legs before he had to sit back down and resume work.
He stopped in each of the rooms downstairs, lingering for a while in the living room and kitchen before carrying Su-Jin up to the second floor. He popped into the nursery, where a mountain of laundry waited to be washed, then entered the master bedroom, which had once been half of Miles’s living room and his bedroom nook. There, the pigeon family was eating breakfast. Their babies were long gone, having grown up in the blink of an eye, but the parents remained. They cozied up together in their new nest—warmer now that Miles and Jun had purposefully left some cattail fluff out for them to encourage them to stay—and shared a piece of croissant. Jun couldn’t be entirely sure, but for a second, he thought he caught a glimpse of something white beneath them.
New eggs.
