Page 30 of Please Open Me
“I think I’m lucky to have you,” she said easily. “Why do you feel like that?”
My tongue swiped over my teeth as I searched for a version of the truth that didn’t sound like I couldn’t handle a little degradation.
But the truth was… Icouldn’t.
Years of being bullied, the insecure god complex that came with being a prodigy, topped off with my groomer ex-boyfriend... all of these traumas had left me more emotionally raw than I wanted to admit.
Even though I’d come hard earlier, had a good time in the moment... that haze of arousal had cleared.
Mason didn’t rush me. She never did, in moments like this. She just stood there, pressed against my chest, her hands lightly resting on my hips like she was anchoring me in place.
I wished I could ask her to scrub this feeling out of me.
I wished I could be enough just by holding her.
But I wasn’t sure I ever would be.
“Did I do something?” She asked innocently, cracking my glass heart.
My lip quivered as I fought through a shaky exhale. Every part of me wanted to reassure her that she’d done nothing wrong. Mason was perfect, as always. She deserved someone who could shrug things off. Lucian and Cameron could.
Why couldn’t I?
“Not you.” My voice broke.
Mason tilted her head back, brows furrowing as she stared through me.
“Sophia?” Mason’s brows lifted, her eyes wide, like she couldn’t possibly fathom Sophia hurting anyone.
That was the problem. Sophia hadn’tmeantto hurt me.
She wasn’t cruel, not in the deliberate, soul-crushing way I used to know. She’d spent a good portion of our childhoods teasing me. Bullying me, really, like most people did. Sophia knew how to be mean, but this was different.
This was just supposed to be kinky. I should’ve been able to shake it off instead of internalizing it. But I couldn’t.
I had enough pills in the medicine cabinet to stock a small pharmacy. They were supposed to dull the sharp edges of my brain, quiet the violent, obsessive thoughts and help me float through the day.
And mostly, they worked.
They dulled the chaos. Softened the storms.
But they couldn’t touch the self-doubt. They couldn’t give me back the confidence I had faked for so long.
“Do you think I’m lucky to have you?” I repeated, softer this time. I just needed her answer.
I knew I was lucky to have Mason. Just like I was lucky to have Cameron. And Rosie. And Jasper and Juniper. But some twisted part of me needed someone else to confirm the thing I feared most.
That I didn’t deserve any of them.
Mason’s eyes filled with resolve, warm and unwavering. She cupped my chin like I was precious.
“I think I’m lucky to have you,” she said, beaming. “You loved me when I was at my worst.”
“And you did the same for me.” My voice cracked as I lifted her wrist and kissed the faded scars that told stories her lips never would. “You’re the first person to love me unconditionally.”
My eyes burned. I blinked hard, trying to chase the tears back down my throat, but they wouldn’t go.
Mason guided me closer, and I followed instantly, like a dog on a leash. I would’ve followed her anywhere.
