Page 152 of Please Open Me
And that caused me to pause.
“I’m going to touch you. You’re my wife,” I reminded her.
Her chest heaved with uneven breaths. “You brought drugs aroundmykids.”
The room narrowed. For a second, my brain produced nothing but a long, hollow echo where an answer should've been, and my throat tightened.
“I mean, if you want to be technical, I brought drugs aroundmykids.” Despite Rosie being a little carrot top, just like her biological father, I was the one listed on the birth certificate. And, to get technical, I was Jasper and Juniper’sonlyparent. “Plus, I kept them wayyyy too high for them to reach.”
Mason’s jaw tensed, and I realized, despite my completely rational line of thought, she was still maybe a little mad.
“I will drop down onto my knees and grovel at your feet if you forgive me right now,” I said, only half joking.
Mason’s face went small as she stared at me as if I’d told her I hated her. Then she barked out a broken laugh, one that rapidly slid into sobs.
My world seemed to tilt, but I stayed in place.
“You–” Mason cut herself off with a heavy swallow before resting a hand back on the counter, as if she needed that support to stay upright. “I promised myself thesecondI found out I was pregnant with Rosie, that I would break the cycle.”
“What cycle?” I scoffed.
Rosie was the most spoiled baby I’d ever met. She had more love and toys than anyone would ever know what to do with.
“I grew up surrounded by parents who were too high or drunk to give a fuck about me, and surrounded by people who did terrible things,Lucian.” My name fell off her tongue with a barbed tone.
I shrank back a little, suddenly feeling guilty.
“That’s because you’re a good mom,” I mumbled, head tilted toward the ground.
“Am I?” She challenged, stepping closer. “Because like twelve hours ago you told me how shitty of a parent I was.”
I chewed my cheek, unable to come up with a good response that wasn’tI lashed out because youhurt me.
“And,” she continued, now pacing back and forth. “I found out that the four people I’ve trusted more thananything, I shouldn’t trust! Not with my kids, not with me, not with anything!”
“You can trust me,” I said softly, fully ready to offer to let her force me into random piss tests.
Mason barked out one wry laugh.
“Can I?” She scoffed. “Lucian, I don’t know what the fuck you did, whether it was mess with my birth control or poke holes in all the condoms, but Iknow, in my gut, that you’re why I’m pregnant again.”
I looked up just in time to see her hand drop to her stomach.
“Is that a bad thing? You love being a mom.”
Her brows raised as she looked at me as if I were stupid, and to be fair… I was.
“Lucian, I almostdiedwhen I was pregnant with Rosie.” She pointed at her chest. “And it should have beenmychoice to get pregnant again, not one you made for me.”
My mouth went dry, and I fisted my hands to hide their shaking.
“I just… I wanted to make you stay.” My voice cracked as tears I didn’t deserve to shed filled my eyes.
“And I would have.” Sadness pearled along Mason’s lower lashes. “But now I am so fuckinghurtandconfused.”
Mason sniffled, rubbing the heels of her hands against her eyes. My heart begged me to rush to her, to say the right string of words to make everything okay. But my feet wouldn’t move, and the lump in my throat threatened to choke me if I even thought about speaking.
“And every single part of me wants to just forget everything that’s happened in our family over the last two weeks–especially because I don’t want to lose any of you guys. Lucian, I loveallof you more than I can say.” Mason placed her hand on her chest as if that was the only thing that could hold her crumbling heart together. “But I feel like I’m failing my children by not leaving, and I feel so fuckingselfish.” She choked on the word and took a deep breath. “I’m just like my mom.”
