Page 142 of Please Open Me
Or cry?
Or curse God?
I dragged both hands down my face, trying to shove every thought out of my head.
“Shehatesme,” I said finally, words muffled behind my palms. “she thinks I’m a crazy serial killer. Why would—”
“She doesn’t hate you,” Cameron said firmly. “she’s just… overwhelmed. Plus, you know how she gets. She locks everything down when she’s scared, and she’s terrified. Both of losing you and of being next to you… I think it’s her hormones driving her crazy… Is it too early for that?”
I swallowed hard and my chest pulled tighter. “How far along is she?”
“Ten weeks, give or take, she’s got the cutest little belly, just don’t tell her that. I did, and she cried, and now I feel bad.”
“Ten weeks,” I repeated.
My mind shot back to when she was pregnant with Rosie, and, yeah, that tracked.
“She’s ten weeks, and she didn’t tell me?” I said slowly. “How long have you known?”
Cameron shifted from one foot to the other.
“A month?” He said shyly.
“A month!” I repeated. “Andyoudidn’t tell me?”
“Look, at first I thought she was going to get an abortion, and then Ithinkshe was gonna tell you, and then she was afraid you’d leave, and—” He shrugged. “I’m gonna go get the kids. Are you coming?”
I stared at him, chest heaving like I’d just run a marathon.
“Mason thoughtIwould leave?” After everything we’d been through.
“Seb,” Cameron cut in gently, but firmly enough to make me shut my mouth. “Right now, it doesn’t matter what she thought. What matters is she’s scared, and she’s exhausted, and she’s probably halfway convinced she’s doin’ this alone whether she wants to or not.”
I blinked at him, vision blurring around the edges.
“Don’t cry,” Cameron added quickly, pointing at me like that might stop the tears. “Seriously. Somehow, she’ll know and think she ruined your life or somethin’.”
I wiped my eyes.
“I wasn’t going tocry,” I scoffed.
He shot me a skeptical look but didn’t push. “Don’t tell her I told you either.”
“I won’t,” I promised automatically, even though I knew it was a lie.
“I’m serious,” Cameron warned. “not a word. Not a look. Not a ‘how’s the baby’.’ Nothing until she tells you, or she’s gonna bolt.”
I nodded, knowing he was probably right. But, I also knew the second he was out of the house, I was going to march upstairs and demand answers, even if I didn’t like them.
Chapter 34
Mattie
Today had been a long fucking day. Seriously, after getting Mason home at two .a.m., she asked if I could go to her ultrasound with her. Of course, I saidyes, but that meant we got four hours of sleep.
Then, at ten weeks and one day, the doctor expressed concerns about baby B being small and asked Mason if she’d been eating enough.
And I almost told the doctorno, she’s been living off of protein shakes and spite.But I didn’t, and now we had two weeks to undo everything Mason had willingly done to herself before the next growth scan.
