Page 103 of Please Open Me
Lucian looked offended for about half a second before kissing my forehead. “Condomscanfail, so we’ll see.”
Suspicion blossomed in my chest as I watched Lucian. Not the sharp, frantic suspicion that made me want to run, but the slow, creeping sort that slithered into the cracks of my psyche and made everything look like evidence in an investigation.
He said it so casually.Condoms can fail.Like he was already rehearsed, like he’d been waiting for me to bring it up. And that’s when I remembered that morning in the kitchen, a flashback of Lucian throwing my birth control just out of my reach.
But… he wouldn’t do that to me. Would he?
“You okay? You’re looking a little pale.” Lucian played the part of a concerned husband, placing his hand on my forehead as if checking for a fever.
“I… I’m fine,” I lied, forcing a tight-lipped smile. “My stomach is empty, and it’s making me kind of sick.”
My expression pinched as I swallowed.
Once again, Lucian patted my stomach; this time, it felt like he was praising me for doing something cute. The touch made my skin crawl, and I did my best not to flinch; if I pulled away, he’d know I was suspicious.
So instead I laughed. Quiet, shaky, forced. “Don’t make a big deal out of it. I still haven’t told everyone.”
“And that’s fine.” He leaned over and kissed my stomach. “You remember that diner we used to go to?”
“When we lived in that shitty two-bedroom apartment near Sophia’s college?”
Lucian nodded.
It was our first attempt at being adults. Leona and Atticus were smothering me, and between the three of us, Lucian, Sophia, and I could barely afford rent without begging my mom for the money my dad sent for child support each month. The place was small and old, and the hot water in the bathroom sink never really worked, but it was ours.
The diner up the street would be ourtreat. A genuine stretch of the word, seeing as meals were about five dollars a plate back then.
“I’m pretty sure it’s open twenty-four-seven still. If you want to go, everyone else is asleep,” Lucian sing-songed.
In my chest, a weird sense of dread told me to say no. It was the same dread I’d gotten right before my car accident with Seb. And, while it was likely just a coincidence then and lingering anxiety now, the invisible fear glued me in place.
I tried to smile, but the expression cracked halfway up. “Isn’t it a little late? Plus, we both used to get burgers, and we’re vegetarians now.”
That was a shitty excuse, seeing as I’d been sneaking bites of highly processed animals for about a week now. But, in my defense, the baby wanted it, not me.
Lucian grinned like he hadn’t even noticed my discomfort. “We’ll figure it out. It’ll be just like old times–plus, if you feel better after eating, we can pack up and go home.”
My chest seized.
How the hell did people breathe? I’d been doing it for my entire life, but at the moment, the skill escaped me.
Did he know our house was one degree of separation from a prison? Did they send him to get me to come home?
“I don’t think I should leave Rosie,” I mumbled.
Jas and Juni would be okay, but Rosie was still breastfed and oh so little.
“She’ll be fine,” he countered instantly, the words sounded far too smooth. “Leona practically raised you, and her kids have turned out fine. I think she can handle a few hours while Munchkin sleeps. Besides, I miss you. Don’t you miss me?”
“No,I do.”
“Then, let’s go, it’s been a while since we had a date.” Lucian’s word was final, and he slipped out from underneath me before pulling me to my feet.
“Lucian, I…” My voice cracked. “It’s the middle of the night. What if the kids wake up?”
“Then Leona gets up with them. She’s their aunt. She loves it.” His hand lingered at the small of my back, steering me toward the door like I was a guest in my own skin.
Every nerve in me shoutedDon’t go. But my mouth betrayed me with a tiny, obedient laugh.
