Page 102 of Please Open Me
I whipped toward the voice, still breathing too fast, too shallow.
Lucian stood behind me, dressed in the clothes he’d worn to work yesterday, hair tossed into a messy bun. He held his hands up like I was an animal he didn’t want to scare off.
“She’s fine,” he repeated, softer this time. “Leona’s got her. She didn’t want you to worry.”
I pressed a palm to my chest and forced out a shaky breath. Relief washed over me as I stared up at my husband, but a rush of nausea and a dry ache in the back of my throat quickly joined it. And, like a complete basket case, that was enough for me to start violently sobbing.
Lucian froze halfway to me, his hand stretched out like he wanted to reach for me but couldn’t. Slowly, I crumpled onto the mattress behind me and drew my knees up as high as they could go.
This whole thing was mortifying, but I couldn’t stop.
The floor creaked as Lucian recovered from the shock I’d inflicted upon him and crept over to me. He sat beside me, the bed sank, and drew me ever-so-slightly closer. Not that it mattered either way, considering Lucian manhandled me so my head would be on his lap.
“What’s wrong, Kitten?” He whispered.
My lip quivered, and while I knew Ineededto tell him about the serial killers in our house, and maybe about Cameron and the cult, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Over time, maybe I could forgive them, and maybe even regrow the trust they’dkilled, but I didn’t think Lucian would. Was I fucked in the head for thinking this was a forgivable offense? Or, seeing as I wasn’t sure this warranted jail time, was I just as bad as them?
Could only those irreparably damaged love me for who I was?
I winced at the thought. That was so inconsequential. Why was I even worried about that?
“Mason,” Lucian hummed, softly patting my stomach. “I love you, but I can’t read minds. If words hurt, tap my knee twice, and I’ll grab your phone so you can text me instead.”
Slowly, I shook my head, tears rolling from my cheeks onto his ripped jeans.
“I’m just tired, and hungry, and thirsty, and falling apart.” Somehow, falling apart didn’t feel strong enough.
I was disintegrating in real time, and I couldn’t even give myself time to stop and process. Not with the kids and having to go to California for work in a few days.
Lucian laughed, almost to himself, and I wanted to smack him.
“What’s so funny?” I snapped, rolling over just enough to look at him.
His pupils were normal today, but he was pale and sweaty. Maybe I’d made up the fact that he was using again. Like my mind felt the world was too safe, so it invented problems to keep me on my toes.
“Of course you’re hungry and thirsty, have you seen this belly?” He ran a hand down the curve of my stomach. “You’re eating for two, Kitten.”
My lips parted to tell him to stop it, I was just bloated, and it was gross that he insisted on touching me right now. Then, I froze.
I never told Lucian I was pregnant again.
Cold crawled through my chest, spilling into my veins until even my fingertips ached with it. I blinked, slow and deliberate, hoping maybe I’d misheard him. Maybe he’d meant something else. Maybe I wasn’t awake at all.
“How did you know?” I whispered.
“Minus the fact that it’s obvious?” He slipped up my loose shirt, planting his palm above my belly button.
The warmth of his skin melted into mine, and I relaxed for the first time in hours.
“Leo told me. She was ready to hit me over getting you pregnant again so soon–but hey, accidents happen.”
Lucian shrugged, and I studied him for a moment. Out of all my partners, I expected him to take ittheworst, even if I wasn’t sure why.
“I think it’s Sebastian's,” I added, suddenly feeling a bit like a slut.
And not in a good way.
Rosie might have come from a one-night stand, but I knew without a shadow of a doubt who her dad was. Right now, Sebastian was my guess, only because he was the only one who ever took risks with unprotected sex.
