Page 3 of Horns & Heart
“You do realize women have boobs, don’t you?You can’t tell me boobs are invisible to you.”For my show and tell, I mimed boobs.It wasn’t my proudest moment.
Inkiri nodded and put a hand on his sword, which was when I realized he had more than one on his left hip.There were three, in fact, all varying in lengths and in their hilt decorations.Who needed three swords, and whatever for?
“That made sense at first, until we helped a woman who explained she was a trans woman, which meant she had no uterus, among other things.And she explained that you shouldn’t just assume from the looks, though I did notice your lack of boobs.But she said asking was better than assuming, so I asked.Did I offend you?”
That was a lot to unpack right there, but I didn’t intend to stick around long enough for that.I would get away from this weirdo just as soon as I could.Maybe I’d even make a run for it as soon as he stepped aside so I could finally, finally get out of the changing room.
But two things stuck out.“I’m not offended.But you said you helped another human?And did you just say ‘we’?Or do you use that like the queen would?”
“Yes, we helped another.As for the others, I’ll take you to meet them.”
Inkiri finally moved, and I breathed a sigh of relief.I most definitely did not want to meet anyone else who carried an assortment of swords attached to their body and who thought about uteri more in a single conversation than I’d done since before my first crush on a boy, but I had to be smart about this.I had to play along, at least for a little while.
Behind Inkiri, the monster’s blood had started to congeal.Death hadn’t improved how it looked at all, but to be honest, I’d seen worse.Worse was always an option during the apocalypse.That was one of the first things I’d learned.
I followed Inkiri toward the store’s exit, but to my right, behind a skirts-and-tank-tops display that had collected dust over the years, I saw a door for staff.Wally, my high school buddy, had worked in a department store like this, and she’d told me that usually, the staff area had storage, and more importantly, a back door.That back door, if I played it right, was going to be my getaway.
Inkiri looked over his shoulder to make sure I was following, and once we got outside the store, he slowed down so I could catch up.That was when I summoned all my acting skill—and yeah, people had told me there wasn’t much of that to be had.I’d been a fucking tree in the third-grade play for a reason, but I’d given the role of second tree on the left my all.I’d made up for what others didn’t see in my acting with passion, and I was going to give this all my passion as well.
“Oh, shoot.”I was aiming for distraughtly apologetic.“I forgot something in there.Can you stay here and make sure no other monster tries to get me?”Seeing as how my play-acting repertoire consisted entirely of damsel in distress or tree, I gave the blue monster my best doe eyes before my brain’s quality control could stop me.
Inkiri focused his slit-pupiled eyes on me, then rested his wrist on the hilt of one of his swords.The competence came off him in waves.
“Best be quick.”
I nodded, and went to seize my freedom.Back inside the store, I made a beeline for the staff door and carefully opened it, hoping I wouldn’t make too much noise.Luckily, the mechanism wasn’t creaky, and I didn’t think Inkiri could see me from where I’d left him.
It was dark beyond the staff door, and my eyes needed a moment to adjust.When they did, the dull gleam of the Exit sign way over to my left was a blissful relief.It came close to the time I’d found a huge pack of candy at the very back of an already raided store six months ago.I’d had chocolate bars for dinner that day.
Careful not to fall over boxes and whatnot, I maneuvered toward where I could only hope my monsterless freedom waited for me.My cramp was a lot better now, and once I was outside, I’d run until I couldn’t anymore.
I’d treat myself to the remaining candy bar in my bag as a treat for surviving this shit show of a shopping trip.
