Page 198 of Vicious Intentions
And she’s right.
Anna and I would love our kids fiercely. Protect them with everything we have. But they would still be born into thefamiglia.
If we had sons, they’d one day have to swear theomertáand follow in my footsteps, my firstborn destined to inherit my throne when my time came. And if we had daughters…
God.
What if one day someone stole them from us the same way I stole Anna from her family? The thought alone sends ice through my veins.
“Annamaria, the aspiring pianist freshly graduated from Juilliard, and her husband, Matteo, the renowned chef, could’ve had as many children as they wanted,” she says softly. She smiles at me then, but there’s something unbearably sad about it as she cups my chin in her palm. “In another life, husband, we might’ve had it all.” Her thumb brushes across my skin. “Just not this one.”
I can’t even remember the last time I cried.
It’s been so long that I convinced myself I no longer could, that whatever part of me once knew how to grieve had been carved out years ago.
But hearing my wife speak so calmly about settling for half a life just to remain by my side is unbearable.
Because she deserves everything.
And loving me means she can never truly have it. I can’t even remember the last time I cried.
It’s been so long that I convinced myself I no longer could, that whatever part of me once knew how to grieve had been carved out years ago.
But hearing my wife speak so calmly about settling for half a life just to remain by my side is unbearable.
Because she deserves everything.
And loving me means she can never truly have it.
“I… I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry.”
My head drops to my chest, but Anna immediately rises into my lap, wrapping her arms around me and pulling me against her.
“It’s okay, Matteo. It’s okay,” she whispers, her hand moving slowly up and down my back as she tries to hold me together while I come apart.
But it’s not okay.
None of this is okay.
I promised my wife I’d give her everything. A life worthy of her. And this… this life we’re trapped in is not that.
I’m failing her.
The worst part is knowing we were doomed long before we ever met. The life Anna dreams about is one I could never truly give her. Our fates were sealed the moment we were born carrying our respective last names.
Even if we had never fallen in love, Anna would still be an Outfit principessa, and I would still be a Donato.
She could never be a pianist.
And I could never be a chef.
Our futures had already been written for us long before we ever had the chance to want something different.
“Matteo, look at me,” she says softly, cupping my face in her hands. “I love you. And I love our life together. Whatever the future holds for us, I’ll love that too.”
“You deserve more,vita mia. You deserve everything,” I choke out.
“As long as I have you, then I’m happy. You are all I’ve ever wanted. Just you.”
