Page 82 of Stranger's Choice
“The weather is lovely today,” Sebin corrected softly. Then he slipped back into Imperial. “I hope that was a random sentence and not your true opinion of the weather. I would not call the storms here lovely.”
Auraelie flipped back through the list of words. She had seen . . . there it was. “You are jealous.”
“Jealous of what?” Sebin spoke in Continental.
Auraelie put the papers back on the desk and switched to her native language. “Jealous that I would rather be up in the rain than down here with you—though I did invite you to join me.”
Sebin grew solemn. “I know you need that freedom, Auraelie. You were trapped in a gilded cage for nearly a decade. Now you are physically stuck on this ship for a month, and you’ll be in a different sort of cage in Moial because you will be a stranger, with little knowledge of the language. I won’t begrudge you time out in the open where you can feel free—even if I think staying in our warm, dry bed would be a better way to spend your time.”
Auraelie sat on Sebin’s lap and wrapped her arms around him. He wanted to give her every freedom he could. That was why he had spent the afternoon writing translations of words for her. He would never let her dependency on him become another cage. Auraelie kissed him, but he pulled back after too short a time.
“We still need to talk about how you want to be introduced in Moial.”
She leaned back to look at him. “What do you mean?”
“It is hard to revise a first impression, and Moialan society is opinionated. We have to make sure people see you in the position you want right from the start. I don’t know what position you want, though.”
“I assumed I would be in a position similar to Lhashiki’s with the Emperor.”
Sebin shook his head violently. “No. There’s not really an equivalent in Moial. Lovers who are not wives do not have a public position. I don’t want you to be known only for your relationship to me. Also, my countrymen are harsh on women who acknowledge their lovers publicly.”
“So we must hide our relationship?” Auraelie tried not to sound too disappointed. She had hoped that they would not have to be different in public versus private in Moial.
Sebin’s hands squeezed her hips for a moment before he caught himself and loosened his grip. “We don’t have to hide it, necessarily, but we can’t flaunt it. Not if you want to be welcomed by the court. I want you to be welcomed, Auraelie.”
She wasn’t sure she liked his phrasing. She suspected the truth was that they must veer closer to hiding things than not. It had not occurred to her that this might be the case. How could she have forgotten that he was a prince? He might have to marry someone because of his rank. She didn’t want to think about that obstacle yet. Surely she had time before she would have to face him marrying another woman.
“There is no way for us to be together without drawing censure?”
Sebin wouldn’t meet her eyes.
“Sebin?”
“There is one way,” he said after another hesitation, “but I don’t want to rush you into anything. You are going to be in a strange kingdom, where you are the only one of your kind. I’m going to be dealing with my father and the problems you foresaw. Nothing will be the same as it was in Kalitalo, and I don’t want you to regret any decisions.”
“Regret what decisions? What are you talking about, Sebin?”
“No one will say anything—well, they’ll still talk, but it won’t be the same—if we married.”
It sounded like Sebin did not particularly want to follow that path. She swallowed and slipped off his lap. “But you don’t want to marry me.”
“What?” Sebin surged to his feet. “No! That’s not true.”
“You’re afraid you’ll regret marrying me.”
“No. Auraelie, no.” He reached out a hand, but she stepped back. He didn’t lower his arm. “I will never regret being with you. Never. But you’ve never had any freedom. I don’t want to take those choices away from you.”
She took another step back, her back hitting the door of the cabin. “You want me to have other lovers?”
Sebin’s hand curled into a fist. A muscle in his cheek twitched. Watching him swallow a denial, Auraelie figured out what was going on. She should have realized immediately. Wasn’t this the same thing he had done when she first kissed him? He would sacrifice his own desires, his own happiness, because he thought she was making a choice out of ignorance.
Suddenly, she was furious. She strode back over to him and shoved his chest. He toppled back into his chair. “You want to see me free? Respect my choices? Then stop trying to protect me from the choice I’ve already made. I may have been in little better than a gilded cage for years, but I’m not some innocent with no knowledge of the world. I’ve seen more of the world than you could in a lifetime, because I’ve seen hundreds—thousands—of lifetimes! It doesn’t matter how much time you give me or how many new things I experience for myself. I will always want you. I will always love you. There is no one else in my future.”
Auraelie stopped, breathing heavily, and the silence was a jolt. She had been yelling at the end there. She hadn’t intended to yell.
Sebin stared at her, but it wasn’t shock or anger in his gaze. If she wasn’t mistaken, what she saw in his eyes was wonder.
“You love me?”
