Page 53 of Stranger's Choice
Sebin followed her over to the table and watched as she laid out the game. The bag contained smooth stones in two colors that she placed carefully on the board where lines intersected.
“The point of the game is to move from one side of the board to the other.”
Sebin watched as she explained how to play, recognizing several similarities to games back in Moial and noting the differences. Mostly, though, he watched Auraelie’s joy at getting to play a game.
They played three rounds ofphanand Sebin lost them all. The first game, he had focused more on what other everyday activities Auraelie missed out on, and how he could arrange for her to experience them, than how to play. During the second, he actually internalized the rules she had explained, but too late to help him win. The third he committed himself to fully, enjoying Auraelie’s pleasure when he made her work harder to keep ahead of him.
“You’re losing on purpose, aren’t you?” she asked after that third game. “I know you can plan things out meticulously. You must have the next dozen moves in your head every turn.”
“I did not lose on purpose,” Sebin told her honestly. “I’m still formulating the best strategies. Planning ahead accomplishes nothing if I don’t know what to plan for.”
Auraelie swept the stones back into their pouch. “What are your plans?”
“Right now? To get some food before luring you back into my bedroom.”
Sebin knew that wasn’t what Auraelie was asking, but he feared answering her true question. Not because he wanted to protect her from knowing the truth. After his conversation with Heolin in front of her, it was too late for that. She knew too much already to not be in violation of the treaty. But the treaty wouldn’t hold her for long.
And that was the true reason Sebin dodged her question. Because his present plans were all about Auraelie and her freedom. If he told her about his current goals, she’d see he cared more about her happiness than the lives of everyone else in Pynth. But he wouldn’t let bonds of gratitude or guilt cage her any more than a treaty.
Nor did he want her uncomfortable because the depth of his feelings went beyond what she had expected from a casual lover.
Until she was free and there was a level of equality between them, he’d have to be careful. He never wanted Auraelie to feel pressured because of him. It didn’t matter what she had said about wanting him, not just anyone. She was in a horrible situation, and Sebin was possibly the only person she had even had a chance to get close to for most of her life. He’d respect her choice, but he’d also make sure she knew that he wouldn’t hold her to it if she decided she wanted something more.
After she returned home, then maybe he’d see if their desires still aligned.
