Page 3 of Renegade Kingdom
“Ikilledhim.” The words were muffled against my hair, broken. “I held the blade and I…”
“You cared for him enough to do the hardest thing anyone could ever ask.” I pulled back just enough to meet his eyes, cupping his face in my hands. “That’s not murder, Maddox. That’s mercy. That’s love.”
“I wish I hadn’t,” he whispered. “Does that make me a terrible person? I should have found another way. I should have…”
“There was no other way.” I held his gaze, willing him to believe me. “Rhidian knew that. And when you’re ready, when the grief isn’t so raw, you’ll know it too.”
Dean moved closer, his hand coming to rest on Maddox’s shoulder. No words, that wasn’t Dean’s way, but the gesture spoke volumes. Ryder flanked his other side, and I saw the way his throat worked as he fought to keep his own emotions in check.
The three of them had always been a unit. Brothers in everything but blood. They’d faced horrors together, carried each other through the darkness. And now they would carry Maddox through this too.
But none of us could protect him from the weight of what he’d done. That burden was his to bear. All we could do was walk beside him while he learned to carry it.
I stepped back, giving them space to surround their brother. Tank had already moved off, his deep voice carrying across the battlefield as he organized the survivors, taking the lead to give us time to figure out how to carry the burden we bore now. I listened to him arranging for pyres to be built. Giving orderswith that calm authority that made people listen. Honoring the dead.
The dead.
I closed my eyes for a moment, letting the weight of it all press down on me. So many gone. And still more battles to come.
“Where is he?” I asked. “What did you…”
The thought of Rhidian lying in the mud, alone… he deserved so much better. But then the same could be said for every single person lying on this battlefield that would never get up again.
“Some of his men are taking his body back to the ship. I didn’t want to just leave him here. I didn’t know what else…” Maddox’s voice trailed off as he stared into the distance. I couldn’t bring myself to look in that direction in case I caught a glimpse of Rhidian’s body being taken away. I wasn’t ready for that. I wasn’t ready to see with my own eyes that he really was gone.
A familiar flutter of wings announced Fizzle’s arrival before I saw him. He hovered at eye level, his small form agitated, scales catching the fading light.
“The children are with Damon,” he said without preamble. “He is lucid for now and making food for them all. They are asking about…”
Damon.
The name hit me like cold water. In all the chaos, all the horror and grief, I’d somehow forgotten. Forgotten that there was one more nightmare waiting for us. One more impossible situation we still had to solve.
Damon, who was both a victim and a threat. Whose body housed a monster we didn’t know how to kill without risking him too. Who looked at us with his own eyes one moment and something ancient and terrible the next.
“... there is something you need to know,” Fizzle was saying, his voice taking on that careful quality that always preceded bad news. “I should have told you before, but…”
“No.”
The word came out sharper than I intended. Fizzle’s wings faltered.
“I can’t.” I shook my head, feeling something dangerous building in my chest. “I can’t do this right now, Fizzle. I cannot stand here and listen to one more secret you’ve been keeping. One more truth you decided I wasn’t ready to hear.”
“Alyssandra…”
“You said you’d told meeverything.” My voice cracked on the last word. “You looked me in the eyes and youpromised, and I was stupid enough to believe you. Again.”
Fizzle’s expression shifted, something like regret flickering across his features, but I couldn’t bring myself to care.
“Go back to the children,” I said, turning away from him. “Keep watch. Make sure there aren’t any of Arik’s followers nearby who might try to use them against us.”
“I know you are angry,” he said quietly. “And you have every right to be. But I ask that you hear me out before…”
“I’m done making you promises, Fizzle.”
I walked away before he could respond. Before I could see whatever expression crossed his face. Before I could let myself feel guilty for the hurt I knew I’d caused.
Behind me, the pyres were already beginning to burn. The smoke rose into the darkening sky, carrying the souls of the fallen to whatever peace awaited them.
