Page 111 of Terms of Exposure
"But there's still this voice," I continued. "One that tells me I'm weak for needing this. That I'm taking advantage of someone else." I swallowed hard. "And I can't get it to shut up."
Dr. Raines let the moment breathe before turning to Damien. "What do you get out of this dynamic?"
He didn't hesitate. "Everything." He smiled. "Seeing her thrive. Watching the tension leave her shoulders. Hearing her laugh without that edge underneath it. I'll do whatever I need to do to make that happen." His voice roughened. "Whatever it takes."
My chest tightened. "But—why? Why does it matter so much to you?"
He was quiet long enough that I thought he might not answer.
"Because it makes me feel useful," he finally said. "Like I have a purpose. Like I'm not just—" He stopped, jaw working. "Like I'm not just taking up space."
Dr. Raines gave his words room to land.
"This is important," she said quietly. "What you're both describing isn't imbalance. It's interdependence." She looked between us. "Emma, you receive care and it helps you flourish. Damien, you provide care and it gives you purpose. Neither of you is taking from the other. You're each giving something the other person needs."
"That reframe might not nullify the guilt overnight," Dr. Raines continued, looking at me. "But it's worth sitting with. The next time the guilt rises, try asking yourself: What am I giving him by letting him give to me?"
I looked at Damien.
Understanding passed between us.
Dr. Raines glanced at the clock.
"Is there anything else you'd like to tackle today?"
Jennifer's face flashed through my mind. The conference room at Elion.I thought you trusted me more than this.
"My friend Jennifer confronted me a few weeks ago. About the audit. The Davidson situation. She knew the official story was bullshit." I shook my head. "She looked me dead in the eye and asked for the truth."
Damien froze. "She knows the numbers?"
"Of course she knows the numbers."
"Fuck," he said under his breath. "I didn't even consider that."
My face went flat, heel tapping twice against the carpet. "No. You didn't."
"This is a good example of why transparency is so important," Dr. Raines said.
Damien leaned forward, elbows propped on his knees. Head falling into his hands. Fingers pulling at his hair.
"What did you tell her?" Dr. Raines asked me.
"That I didn't know." I paused. "And at the time, I meant it. I genuinely didn't know what had happened. I just knew—" I glanced at Damien. "I knew he'd done something. I could feel it. But I didn't have the details. Didn't have proof. Just... instinct."
"So you weren't lying," Dr. Raines said.
"I mean—I guess not."
Damien lifted his head. "I'm sorry."
"Stop apologizing," I snapped.
Dr. Raines's eyes widened for a heartbeat. "That touched a nerve, didn't it, Emma?"
"I'm so sick of him apologizing," I admitted.
She tilted her head. "And why is that?"
