Page 74 of Lost Cause
He shifted on the cold metal to face her. “You’re not loving this situation any more than I am.”
“It’s not the feelings I don’t like. I do like them. Maybe too much. I’m just…” She paused. “I’m not ready for a relationship.”
He shouldn’t care. He wasn’t ready either, but her answer still knifed him in the chest. “You said something about being too busy with work.”
She nodded. “I dated before I became sheriff. Not much time then, and even less now. But honestly, that’s not the real reason.”
Say what?“And the real reason is?”
“Did I tell you my mom passed away recently?” She rubbed her palms over her jeans. “I’m not close with my family. They’re all high-powered defense attorneys—super polished, super judgmental. When I didn’t follow in their footsteps, they didn’t get it. Didn’t respect it. The pressure to ‘fix’ my career path never let up.”
“Sounds exhausting.”
“It was. Still is. Eventually we stopped talking altogether. They didn’t invite me to family events anymore. I stopped fighting it and just let the distance grow. I figured I had time to fix things later. But then my mom died. Just like that. No warning. No chance to make things right.”
He didn’t know what to say, but he did know he had to resist the urge to reach for her hand. “I’m sorry, Abby.”
Her eyes shimmered in the moonlight. “Yeah. How do you deal with never getting to say what mattered most to someone you love? I thought my faith would get me through it, but it hasn’t. Not yet.”
“I’d like to help,” he said quietly. “But I’m not exactly in a good place with God right now.”
“That’s okay. I’ll pray for you anyway. Want me to do anything else?”
He shook his head. “I’d say I’ll pray for you too, but honestly, I don’t feel like I can.”
“It’s alright. I’ve got to work through this by myself anyway.”
He nodded, but the words didn’t sit right with him. They were both trying to carry the pressure alone when maybe they needed to lean on something bigger—God—and maybe each other.
“There’s another reason I’ve hesitated,” she said. “You.”
“Me?”
She looked at him with all sincerity. “I’ve been struggling with who you are. One minute you’re controlling like my family. The next minute you show me a side in direct opposition to my family.” She caught her breath and let it go. “Which one are you, Burke?”
Now it made sense—all the mixed signals, the guarded looks. “I don’t want to be controlling. I really don’t. It’s just—my fiancée, Tiffany, cheated on me with my partner, then left me at the altar. Trusting anyone has been hard since then. Staying in control feels safer.”
“But control doesn’t protect you. I know. My family tried to control everything. They lost me in the process.” She paused, searching his face. “If you keep going that way, who are you going to lose?”
“You.” He swallowed. “And I don’t want that. Don’t want to lose the possibility of us. You can tell I care for you, right?”
She didn’t answer right away, but kept her eyes pinned to him. “Most of the time. At least in the way you look at me, the way you react when I’m close. In all the ways that count. I feel the same way too.”
He reached up, fingers threading gently through her hair. “I’m going to kiss you unless you tell me not to.”
She glanced around, eyes wide and vulnerable, like a cornered animal. He didn’t like the idea of pushing her. Not one bit. She needed space to choose.
He removed his hand. “You can walk away right now, or you can let me kiss you.”
She stared at him. “I can’t say no. I have to know. I need to feel it. To see what this is.”
She pulled his hand back into her hair, then her arms wrapped around his neck, tugging him close.
He wasn’t sure who moved first, but suddenly their lips met. The world melted away. The kiss wasn’t just heat and chemistry. It was everything. Emotion. Longing. Hope.
Something real.
He didn’t care about the investigation. Didn’t care about Tiffany. For once, all he wanted was this.
