Page 90 of Lost Truth
“Oh, mine too. I haven’t managed it at all. Especially when it comes to a relationship. I didn’t tell you about my mother, did I?” She pulled her hand free.
He took it back and held her gaze. “Tell me.”
How they’d veered so far off-topic, she didn’t know, but he deserved to understand why nothing could happen between them. “When I was eight, my mom had a late-term miscarriage. Seeing me made her think about the lost baby. She couldn’t handle it, and she bailed on me and Dad. I never saw her again. I don’t even know if she’s still alive. Dad lived in the same house until he moved here, and if she’s still alive, she could’ve easily found us.”
A tremor passed through his hands. “I’m so sorry, honey. It was rough losing my parents, but I can only imagine the pain you went through knowing she could’ve been with you but chose not to be.”
If he onlycouldimagine it, because she couldn’t adequately describe the emotional anguish an eight-year-old goes through when her mother rejects her. No point in dwelling on that. Not when it couldn’t be changed. “So you see, it proves marriage doesn’t always last. Doesn’t survive trials and hardships. If I ever let myself fall in love and get married, why would mine be any different?”
“Not all marriages fall apart.”
“I know, but theirs was really strong. They were so happy and good together, and then boom. A bomb was dropped on them, and Mom couldn’t come back from it.”
“I hear you, especially since I was just in the water and waves threatened to take me down. I know we each have to figure out a way to deal with challenges.” He stood motionless, eyes distant, but she kept quiet and waited him out. “Consider this. I couldn’t rescue that woman on my own. Too many things were going against me. The cold. The waves. The rain. The wind. Fatigue and on and on. I wanted to give up.”
Her heart swelled with a desire to ease his suffering. “I’m sorry you had to go through that. If I can do anything to help, just ask.”
“Thank you—but here’s the thing. That moment gave me a kind of clarity I’d never had before. I saw the woman holding tightly to her suitcase—her lifeline. And I realized I had to cling to God in the same way, or we both would’ve gone under.”
“I’m glad God was there for you,” she said sincerely.
“Me, too, but the big thing was, on the ride back to the dock, I couldn’t stop thinking about the storms we face in life. The waves of trouble that hit us, sometimes so hard we feel like giving up. But if we hold on to God, He becomes our anchor—our shelter in the storm—and He’ll guide us through. I want to be done with my lack of trust and want to live eyes forward, trusting God, and refusing to look back.”
She blinked at him for a few moments. What he said, made complete sense, but as time passed, would he remember this new revelation when one of life’s big challenges hit him, would he forget all about it? Not having had the experience, could she even believe it was true in her own life?
She wanted to. How she wanted to. Especially if it meant she and this fine man could be together.
