Page 35 of Shadow of Doubt
“I have to admit I’d be tempted.” Colin grinned.
“So will Abby, but I doubt she’ll give in,” Dev said. “She was top of all of our criminal justice classes in college, and it took self-restraint to study all the time when there were parties all around her.”
“Then we need eyes on the road more than ever to know when she gets here,” Colin said. “Who wants to head out there?”
Ryan pushed off the side of the van where he’d been leaning. “I’ll do it.”
“I’ll go with my little bro,” Reid said.
Ryan flashed a look at his brother. “Don’t trust me?”
Dev locked gazes with Ryan. “Hey, I get that. We should compare notes.”
Ryan laughed, but Reid planted his feet. “It’s not that at all. I just need something to do instead of standing around.”
“In that case, you’re welcome to join me.” Ryan plugged in his earbud. “I’ll update you the minute I have eyes on them.”
“Thanks.” Colin pushed his earbud in, too, as did the others.
Nick dug out his phone. “Since we’re on pause, I’ll look to see if I can find any hint of Kane on the internet. Maybe he’s already bragging about the fire. Or the victim. Would be like him to claim his superiority in outsmarting us, if that’s what he did.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Colin said. He wanted to give Kelsey and Sierra a moment to take a look at the property and it would be a perfect time to follow up on his earlier conversation with Nick.
Colin joined Nick. “Before, when we were talking, you had mentioned handling the brutality that you see in your work. How do you go on doing it and still sleep at night?”
Nick didn’t answer right away, but a pensive look took hold. “I guess I focus on the ones we put away and on my faith.”
“I tried that. Failed.” Colin bit his lip. “Big time failed. You have a verse or something that helps you?”
“Yeah, sure.” Nick nodded vigorously. “Yeah, I do.”
“Mind sharing it?” Colin took a step closer to listen more carefully.
Nick shoved his phone into his pocket. “Psalm 37:9 -For those who are evil will be destroyed, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land.I know that even if we don’t find a particular bad guy or if there are more waiting in the wings,ultimately God will take care of them. I can only do my part and not let the garbage I see every day take over the life that God wants me to live.”
Colin had hoped hearing Nick’s verse would miraculously erase his angst, but it didn’t. “I’ve tried that.”
Nick tilted his head. “You’re likely looking at things from the viewpoint of the victims. We have to do that while investigating, but not after an investigation concludes.”
“Easier said than done.”
“Yeah, man, I get it. Unfortunately, even when a case is closed and the bad actor is behind bars, the anger can remain. The images of their abuse remains too. We’re indignant over the injustice. The harm done to innocents. I turn that lingering anger and disgust into righteous anger instead. You could try that.”
That piqued Colin’s interest. “What’s the difference?”
“Righteous anger recognizes these offenses as against God or His Word. View these crimes as an offense against Him and His to deal with. Not yours. Never yours again. You did your part. Then, trust Him to have it and let go.”
Colin had to admit that was an interesting take. One that might work. “I’ll give it a try because nothing else has worked, and it’s had a hold on me. You don’t know how much I want to let it all go and move on.”
“I do, man. I was there once. Not anymore.” Nick took a deep breath. “It also helped to meet Piper. It’s hard to let those past memories take over when your current life is filled with goodness.”
Brooklyn’s face came to mind. “Yeah, yeah, I can see that too.”
Should he pursue these feelings for her or would he just be using her to help him get over his issues? Could he ever tell if his motives were selfish? Until he could, there was no wayhe could move forward with her in any way other than boss and employee. Something to table for now as it would all be irrelevant if he couldn’t protect her from Tarver.
“Thanks for the info, man,” Colin said. “I’m going to check in with Kelsey and Sierra to see if they can give us something to go on.”
Colin made his way through the fallen debris. Chunks of charred wood. Thick ash and smoldering items he couldn’t identify.
