Page 39 of Cold Silence
“Comforting, I guess. Growing up in Pittsburgh it was my go-to drink.” Claire poured the chocolate powder into the mug.
Julie shifted closer. “This is about Travis, isn’t it?”
Claire shrugged, but her reluctance was halfhearted as she really did want to get this out in the open to try to make sense of her feelings. She just didn’t know how to begin revealing something she’d kept to herself for so long.
“It’s clear you two still have a thing for each other,” Julie continued. “So why’d you break up?”
Julie was right. They did still have a thing for each other. Claire had no idea what this thing was, but it was a good place to start the discussion. She perched on a stool and thought back to the beginning—when her father died. Memories flooded back, and she stirred the cocoa to keep from crying. The day of his funeral was as fresh today as it’d been that bitterly cold day years ago. Standing at the freezing cemetery, Claire’s arm around her mother’s convulsing shoulders as much for warmth as for comfort in their loss. Watching them lower the casket into the ground. Saying good-bye. Forever.
“Claire?” Julie asked gently.
Claire forced herself to move forward. “I told you about how my dad was killed in that chopper crash. Well, I…the pain. It was unbearable.”
Julie patted her hand. “I’ve never lost anyone so unexpectedly, but I can imagine how hard it must’ve been.”
No, you can’t. Not really. Not until you experience it.“I vowed to do everything I could to never go through it again. Which meant I couldn’t get close to anyone else who served in the military and had a dangerous job like my dad. Then along came Travis.” She ended with a lift of her shoulder.
“And you fell for him.”
“Big-time.” Claire shook her head. “I mean, really! How could I have fallen for a guy who was the worst risk of all? He runs into danger on a daily basis. It’s only a matter of time before…well…you know.”
“So you broke up with him before that could happen.” Julie paused to appraise Claire. “Didn’t that hurt too?”
“Yes.” Tears pricked Claire’s eyes, and she swiped them away. “But not as badly as if I had to say goodbye to him at a funeral.”
Julie patted Claire’s hand. “Now he’s back, and you’re still not over him.”
“Yes,” Claire said as tears began to fall in earnest, and she grabbed a paper towel to dab at them. “But nothing’s changed. He’s still putting his life on the line, and I’m no more ready to risk the pain of losing him than I was two years ago.”
Julie sat back, her eyes narrowing the way they often did when puzzling out a problem at work. “You have to admit if you were going to fall for anyone with a dangerous job, Travis’s skills give him a far better chance of coming home at the end of the day.”
Claire hadn’t even considered that. “I guess, but skills or not, he’s not protected from a rocket launcher or bomb strike.”
“I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Especially on top of this crazy guy who tried to abduct you.” Julie squeezed Claire’s hand and seemed sincere, but a mountain of skepticism lingered on her face.
“I hear a ‘but’ coming.”
“Since I’m not a Christian,” Julie said, sounding uncertain. “I could be way off base here, but I know you usually pray over big decisions. Have you asked God if He wants you to be with Travis, or did you let your fears get to you and make the decision on your own?”
Claire sat back. A flush of embarrassment heated her face. She’d completely left God out of her problem. Not just once when she ended things with Travis, but for two solid years whenever she’d thought of Travis or about dating. Worse, it’d taken someone who didn’t even believe in God to point it out.
How had she been so blind?
She hadn’t prayed about the missing prototype either. She’d been so worried about her lost work, and the idea of her project ending up in enemy hands, but she’d never thought to turn it over to God, to trust in His solutions. Or to even consider the idea that He might have sent Travis to her—to protect her work, and to force her to face her fears.
Julie’s brows furrowed. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No.” Claire shook her head, not only to reassure Julie, but because she couldn’t believe how oblivious she’d been. “You said what I needed to hear most, and I’ll have to give it some serious thought.”
10
Travis slipped through the patio door into Robb’s first-floor apartment. Old aluminum sliding door locks like the one installed here were so much easier to bypass than anything else. And he also had the sidewalls of the small patio for privacy. Place was made for burglars.
The cool air conditioning blasted him in the face as he let his eyes adjust to the dimness in the empty dining area. The space was connected to a living room too small for a full-sized sofa. Robb had an old floral loveseat and a TV tray as an end table holding a single bulb lamp with no shade. He clearly was living a sparse lifestyle.
Travis poked his head into the tiny kitchen that smelled like the nutty scent of coffee then went to the first door. Opened it. Closet. Empty. Next door. Bedroom. Heavy drapes pulled.
Travis flipped on the overhead light. He jerked back. Robb had covered the main wall with photos. Newspaper articles. Notes. All about Claire.
