Page 93 of Night Watch
“What is it, honey?” Erik stepped near her.
She wanted to walk into his arms as she’d done back in the day when something bad had happened. He would hold her tight and make it all go away. For that moment anyway. Even after he released her, she always felt stronger for the comfort he offered.
God was the same way. Once she gave up on what she could do herself and stepped out of her own way and into His loving arms, she was much stronger. So easy, yet so hard. She’d been fighting that embrace since her mother died. Maybe she was mad at God. Probably was and she wasn’t sure if she even knew how to find Him again. What to do? How to look for Him?
“Kennedy?” Erik asked.
Her tears poured from her eyes. She wasn’t ready to share her struggle with God. “I hate to think of my mom being alone with the cancer. If only she’d told me.”
He took her uninjured hand, his big fingers enveloping hers, and she stared at them twined together. He drew her close. Closer.
“I wish I didn’t have to tell you,” he whispered.
“Thank you for not keeping it from me.” She looked up and met his gaze. “No more secrets in my life.”
Right. Like that was possible.A sob escaped, and she looked away.
“What is it?” He tipped her chin up.
“One more big secret,” she said. “Probably for the rest of my life. Finley decided to stay in WITSEC, and we’ll be relocated again.”
“Why?” His voice rose.
She pulled back.
“Sorry. Why?” he asked again, his tone softer that time.
She told him about the danger first as that was the biggest reason, but then had to tell him about the money too.
He shook his head. “I’ll pay off her debts.”
“She’s too proud to take money from me, so she’d never take it from you.”
“But doesn’t she know what she’s doing to you? You’ll have to give up a career you love. And I know you can’t keep your former careers in the program or even do them as a hobby, so you won’t likely dive again.”
“She knows the rules.” Kennedy’s throat closed, and she could barely get the words out. “She’s just looking out for our safety, and I have to go with her. I’m all she’s got.”
His eyes narrowed, but he didn’t speak.
She raised her chin in solidarity with her sister. “You’d do the same thing for your family.”
He gritted his teeth. “My family wouldn’t ask for such a huge sacrifice.”
“You made one for Aiden,” she pointed out.
“That’s different. He didn’t ask us to quit our jobs. It was our decision.” Erik shook his head. “And here I thoughtIwas going to giveyouthe bad news. I don’t want you to disappear from my life again. I want to…”
He shook his head and ran a hand over his face.
“You want to what?” she asked, not sure she wanted to know the answer.
He met her gaze. “I don’t know what I’m feeling for you or even if I could be ready for a relationship if you were interested, but it doesn’t matter now, does it? You’re going away for forever.”
Erik parked outside PPB’s central precinct, clutching the steering wheel beneath his fingers and doing his best not to look at Kennedy. The last thing she needed right now was for him to let his fear of losing her make him try to convince her not to go into witness protection. He didn’t want her to leave, but he had nothing to offer her. Not only couldn’t he promise a long-term commitment at this point, but he could never replace a family member.
Drake got out of the vehicle and did a quick canvass before he crooked his finger at the SUV. Erik glanced around to confirm his brothers were in position. They pulled out all stops on the protection detail, even if visiting a police precinct was a low-risk situation. After discovering Gordon’s body, Erik wouldn’t take any chances with Kennedy’s life.
He looked at her. “You remain between me and Drake, and we go straight inside.”
