Page 53 of Whispers of Ruin
“And you should, but he died,notyou.”
Kaylia looked to the guards standing in the shadows, staring resolutely ahead. For years, she’d been dead but still living, yet...
“A part of me died with him.”
“I can’t know how that feels; I understand loss, I’ve had plenty of it over the years, but not like what you endured. You’ll never forget him, but you shouldn’t beat yourself up over living again.”
She couldn’t tell Brokk that shehadforgotten Fabian last night. Somehow, he made her forget the one man who had been on her mind for centuries. It was too close to her heart and too painful.
“You’re a powerful, beautiful woman who exudes life and relishes it, Kaylia. It would be a travesty if you buried yourself in guilt and regret; it’s not fair to you.”
Her eyes shot back to him. “It’s not fair that a vampire took him from me.”
Brokk sighed as he rested his hands on his knees. “It’s not, but you’re not the first to lose a loved one, and you won’t be the last. My father moved on after losing his wife.”
“Having sex with and fathering sons with other women isn’t moving on. If he had truly moved on, then he would have fallen in love with one of those other women, like he did with Cole’s mother. Sex isn’t moving on.”
A flicker of something… maybe sadness… passed across his eyes, but it was there and gone too fast for her to tell. He pondered her words before bowing his head a little.
“You’re right, it’s not, but my father didn’t allow guilt to fester and destroy him because he continued to embrace whatever small moments of happiness he could still find in life from his children, his realm, and other women.”
“Your father was a dark fae; he had to feed to survive. What if he didn’t have to feed? Do you think he still would have been with other women?”
She was genuinely curious about this. She’d met Tove a few times but always in passing and never spoken more than a few sentences with the man.
Brokk rubbed his chin while contemplating this. Then he lowered his hand and lifted both to hold them before him.
“My father used to hold my hand while on walks. We’d stroll the grounds, examining the gardens, the guards’ houses, and the fields of the Gloaming. We’d talk about the dark fae who lived there and worked the land; he said they made the Gloaming what it was, not him, not us, butthem.
“It was our private time together, but he did something similar with all my brothers. We were always gifted time alone with him. We also had family time, with all of us, and far more of it than our individual time with him, but those times were so very special.”
Kaylia couldn’t stop herself from settling her hand on his leg as love shone from his eyes. She’d known Tove as ruthless and relentless, or at least that was his reputation, but Brokk painted an entirely different picture of the man.
“He loved all of us deeply. And I think, in the end, that yes, he would have had sex with other women because I think once my father had Cole and realized how much he loved his child, he wanted more, even if it wasn’t with the woman he cherished. He chose life after Cole’s mother… my brother’s lives,mylife, and never regretted it.”
Kaylia’s lips parted. She hadn’t known where his story was going and hadn’t expected it to come to this conclusion, but once it did, she saw he was right.
Brokk gave her a sad smile as he rested his hand over hers. “As I’ve said, you’re a beautiful, vibrant woman who can choose to embrace that and move on with love for Fabian still in your heart, or you can allow guilt to reign.”
He was right.Shewas the one who would decide what course her life would take and how she’d let it affect her. Ever since Fabian’s death, she’d felt as if she didn’t have any control over her life, but she did, even in this forsaken land of monsters and death.
And while she wasn’t sure how to handle the guilt or if she’d ever get used to it, she didn’t want to give up what she’d rediscovered last night. The only problem was, she couldn’t imagine being with anyone other than Brokk.
He was the one who’d awakened her, andhewas the one she wanted. However, that wasn’t the way of the dark fae, unless they sought something more from the relationship… and that was something she could never give.
CHAPTERFIFTY
Brokk waitedfor Kaylia to say something, but when she didn’t speak, he knew she’d had enough. Her shoulders remained hunched and her skin paler, but this time, he knew it had nothing to do with what passed between them last night and everything to do with this land and the sorrow she’d decided to take into herself.
He understood this was something she had to do, but she’d acknowledged the destruction here for long enough. It wouldn’t do her any good to continue draining herself.
Patting his hands off his knees, he rose and extended his hand to her. “It’s probably time for you to rest. Tomorrow will be another exhausting day, and we might make it to the crudue vine.”
When her gaze fell to his hand, he waited to see what she would do while preparing himself for rejection. Seconds passed in which he once again became aware of the creatures moving through the jungle as night set in, but none of them screamed, hissed, or made their strange calls.
It was quieter than normal out there, as if the creatures in this area were as awed by the power here as him. And so far, there were no whispers.
Finally, Kaylia stretched out her hand, and their fingers entwined. A spark shot through him, and his fangs pricked as his gaze fell to her neck.
