Page 43 of Bound By Blood
The tone of hisvoice and his admission told her it was something she could neverimagine going through. She glanced at his side profile; the curveof his cheekbones and set of his jaw revealed his dislike of thisconversation.
He was terrifying,extremely lethal, and callous, but she suspected he wasn’t asindifferent to his past actions as he tried to portray. Or shecould be trying to justify her attraction to a man who came acrossas a bit of a psychopath. She really hoped that wasn’t thecase.
“Don’t you thinkthe Savages who killed your parents deserve to die?” he asked.
“I do, but they’remonsters.”
“So were thehumans who killed my family. Just because they’re weaker than us,doesn’t mean they’re any less capable of destruction. Afterexisting with them for over five hundred years on this planet, Ithink they’remorecapable of it. Vampires aren’t the oneswho invented weapons of mass destruction.”
“True,” shemuttered, but it bothered her that he didn’t seem to regret any ofhis choices; didn’t he have a conscience? “Does the fact you were aSavage bother you at all?”
Saber pondered howto respond to this as they weaved their way through the crowd oflaughing, smiling humans. Most of them were eating or milling aboutas they waited in lines or wandered off to their nextadventure.
He still dislikedallof them. He’d stopped killing them, but they were stilllittle more than annoying ants swarming over a picnic in his mind.Except, ants had a purpose and did some good. He wasn’t so sureabout humans.
Although, he likedtheir children. He’d always had a soft spot for them. He blamedBrie for that. She’d been an adorable, precocious child whodelighted him from the first time she wrapped her tiny hand aroundhis finger soon after she was born.
He’d vowed then toalways protect her. He’d failed, but that soft spot for the youngand vulnerable remained.
A man shouted athim to win a teddy for his pretty lady. When someone thrust a ballunder his nose, Saber turned his scowl on the man who took a stepback and lowered the ball.
“Sorry, man,” theguy muttered.
Saber ignored himas he focused his attention ahead again. He felt Caro’s eyes boringinto him as she waited for his answer.
“I decided to stopkilling, but I don’t regret the past that made me who I am. Mycompulsion to kill amped up once I stopped aging. It was thisnever-ending, niggling thing at the back of my mind, and all Icravedwas death and blood, but, at heart, I wasn’t meant tobe a Savage.”
He’d also enjoyedlife, animals, his family, and the sun. All those things kept himgrounded when his impulse was at its worst. Once he lost hisbiggest tether, he lost it all, but it never truly fit who hewas.
The blood anddeath helped satisfy his bloodlust while burying his grief. It wasa good fit at the time, but not so much later.
“Did I enjoykilling humans? Damn right I did,” he said.
Caro had heardthat things could get a little chaotic for purebred male vampiresonce they stopped aging. Her dad once told her about it andrevealed he sought out pain after he stopped aging. He said femalescould experience it too but not as badly; she’d never had anyproblems like that once she stopped aging.
Still, his bluntadmission caused her to recoil a little, but he kept his hand onher arm while he guided her through the crowd. The heat of his handstopped her from yanking it away.
He unnerved her,but she also welcomed his touch. It was such a disconcertingcontradiction of emotions that she wasn’t sure how to react to themor what to do.
Saber felt herdisgust for him, but he refused to release her. She may hate him,which was best for both of them, but he would get her out of thisalive.
“I didn’t feelguilt over what I did and still don’t. I did what I had to at thetime, and though I continued to kill afterward, and was probably inthe wrong for it, I don’t regret who I was or who I’ve become. I’mnot that man anymore, I never will be again, and regret doesn’taccomplish anything. It would only get in the way of who I’mbecoming.”
“And who isthat?”
“A destroyer ofmonsters.”
She had to admirehis conviction not to let guilt and doubt eat at him. She’d hateherself for the rest of her life if she possessed such a past, butSaber forged onward with an unshakeable conviction in himself.
It was asadmirable as it was frightening.
“Why did you stopkilling if you enjoyed it so much?” she inquired.
“Somethinghappened to change my mind.”
The clipped way hesaid this made it clear he didn’t want to talk about it, but he’dpiqued her curiosity. There was a chance Ted Bundy had more of aconscience than this guy; Saber certainly had the higher bodycount.
What could havehappened to turn him away from a life he’d admitted heembraced?
