Page 55 of Eternally Bound
He gave a bitter laugh as realization settled over him and he lifted his head to find her blue eyes locked on him. Something had gone completely off the tracks wrong, but not because of what she was. It was because ofwhoshe was to him. He was a train wreck waiting to happen because she was not simply a woman he’d come to care for, not a hunter, but hismate.
Fuck! He tugged at his hair, trying to keep himself calm as the realization rocked him. How had he not seen it earlier?
Then, Declan’s words replayed in his head,“You say that because she is here now, but we both know you’re lying.You would have kept her.”
Wouldn’t he have let her go? He’d been determined to do so; he still was. It didn’t matter she was his mate, didn’t matter he’d accelerated the need to complete the mating bond by taking her, he would not chain her as she’d been chained her whole life, and he wouldnotchain her to his world. The danger of her life as a hunter was a day at the circus compared to what came with his life.
The constant fights and death that made up every day of his existence. The treacherous edge he walked.Shewould be the first one he killed if he turned Savage. Or she could calm the demon within him and make it so he never again walked the line between the darkness and the light. It was what mates did for a vampire after all, especially a purebred vampire.
But no other vampire like him had ever existed before. It could be possible he was so completely bound to the demon part of him that she wouldn’t calm him, that nothing would change within him, and he would be pushed over the edge by that realization.
Who are you trying to convince of that?He wondered, knowing it was a lie even as he thought it. She’d already calmed him in so many ways. Declan had said that when he first held her, his eyes had been entirely brown again. In that instant, she’d brought forth something in him that hadn’t been there in centuries. If she was his, he knew, his constant drive to deliver death would not plague him so badly.
But with the bond not completed between them, she’d also made him far more explosive in other ways. He now understood why his temper had been more unstable lately, why he could barely control himself around her when no other female had ever made him lose control before. A vampire who encountered their mate was more volatile until the bond between the mates was completed.
However, if she were bonded to him, she may never be able to live out her dreams. He could guarantee her nothing but fighting and uncertainty in his foreseeable future, maybe forever.
She deserved better, and he would make sure she had it.
“No, Kadence, this is not because you’re a hunter and I’m a vampire. We did nothing wrong.”
“Then what is the matter with you?” Her eyes narrowed on him and she pulled the covers more firmly against her chest. “Or is this how you treat all women after you have sex with them?”
He closed his eyes against the misery in her voice. He was a bastard. He should be in that bed now, holding her close. Instead, he was scared if he got too close to her, he might drain her dry, change her, and never let her go.
“No, this is not the way I treat women after sex.”
“I guess I’m the lucky one then.” Her tone dripped acid as she spoke.
“No… This isn’tyou.”
Taking a deep breath, he braced himself to meet her gaze again. She stared back at him, her eyes glittering with fury, but also with a hurt he’d never wanted to inflict on her. Her anguish shoved the demon within him aside. He took a step toward her, and when the thirst for her blood didn’t immediately rush back to the surface, he closed the distance between them.
Her hair fell into one of her eyes when she tilted her head back to stare at him. He brushed the strand aside to tuck it behind her ear. Maybe he could control himself enough to crawl back into the bed with her and hold her the way she deserved to be held.
He stroked his hand over her cheek and lower to her neck. His gaze fastened on the vein running just under her skin. He dropped his hand and stepped back as his veins became as scorched as a desert.
“I can’t.”
He moved further away as he closed his eyes against the hunger tearing at him. Lifting his hands, he scrubbed his palms over his cheeks, pulling at his flesh.
Kadence had never seen anyone look so distraught before. She didn’t understand what was going on with him, but the fact it was Ronan tore at her heart. “Maybe I can help.”
Oh, she could help, he ruminated bitterly. She was the only one whocouldhelp. Lowering his hands from his face, he lifted his eyes to hers.
Kadence’s mouth parted on a breathlessohwhen Ronan met her gaze again. His eyes were a glittering ruby color that blazed out at her and his fangs had elongated past his lower lip. She’d seen his fangs and red eyes before, but this was somehow different.
Because he’s not in control, she realized and her heart leapt into her throat. Before, she’d always been able to see Ronan behind the vampire traits. Now, she saw only the demon.
This was what Joseph had looked like before he’d bit her. There had been no humanity in his gaze, nothing other than evil. Her hand involuntarily went to the place on her neck where Joseph had sank his fangs. The memory of the pain he’d inflicted on her came readily back to life.
“I scare you,” he said.
Kadence closed her eyes against her self-disgust over her cowardice. “No,” she lied.
“I can smell the fear on you.”
“Not of you, not really. The bite, it’s painful.”
