Page 81 of Seal the Deal
“Damn tell me how you really feel,” Charlie snorts.
“I literally didn’t say anything.”
“Yeah, but the subtitles were on your face again. I do kind of feel like you’re missing the point though. We’re all happy for you. We’re also all more than a little surprised, especially since he’s you know—um, well—there’s really no tactful way to say this.”
“I didn’t even know you knew the word tact.”
“Fuck you very much, I can be tactful when I want.”
“So it’s an active choice to be as abrasive as possible?”
“Would you stop fucking talking and let me talk.”
Andrew mimes zipping his mouth shut, crossing his arms over his chest and staring at Charlie, wondering how much worse things can get. The answer, it turns out, is much worse.
“When you didn’t answer your phone, I spent the day googling him. He’s apparently known for sleeping around, and I’m not judging someone who likes sex. You know I’m not, but—he’s been in a lot of pretty risqué scandals over the years. He’s not pressuring you, is he? After Zach, I?—”
“Who the fuck is Zach?” Nicki demands, striding into the room from the kitchen with Eden at his side. Neither of them are bleeding, so it couldn’t have gone too badly.
“Zach is a dick,” Charlie answers before Andrew can get a word in.
“Worse,” Eden scoffs. “Zach is the scum of the earth. I hope he dies a miserable death. Where did everyone go?”
“They went for pizza,” Charlie answers, eyes lighting up when Eden moves into Charlie’s personal space and presses his back to Charlie’s chest.
“None of that answers who the fuck Zach is,” Nicki grumbles. “Did he hurt you?”
“Zach is no one who matters now,” Andrew tries, wondering if this day is going to get worse. It doesn’t feel like it could, which means it probably will somehow.
“Zach made Andrew feel less than for being ace,” Charlie offers.
“Have you ever heard of boundaries?” Andrew sighs, throwing his arms in the air.
“You don’t need to be ashamed, Annie. He was the one who should be ashamed.”
“I’m not ashamed,” Andrew says. “I just don’t need to think about it, okay? I’m perfectly aware that Zach was a dick. Yes, he made me wildly insecure for years. Yes, he was the reason I was sure I could never make anyone happy in a relationship. Yes, he stirred all of those insecurities up recently. Can we move on now?”
“I didn’t know it was that bad,” Eden says softly.
“Annie.” Charlie looks so sad that Andrew can’t physically stomach it.
Nicki is surprisingly quiet, but the way he’s looking at Andrew makes him sure this is going to be brought up again at some point, which he will do his best to avoid. It’s difficult enough living with his own feelings sometimes. He doesn’t have the spoons to add worrying about how they feel about how he feels into the mix.
“It doesn’t matter,” Andrew says more sharply than necessary.
“Yes, it does, Annie.”
“No,” Andrew hisses, reaching his breaking point. The lies and the change and the memories are too much. He needs to be alone,nowbefore he does something that makes everyone hate him. Instead of admitting any of this, he snaps. “I don’t care about him, and I don’t want to be reminded of him. Stop looking at me like you feel sorry for me. I don’t want anyone feeling sorry for me. Can we move on now? Actually, you know what, I’m going to go finish packing because I have to move out of my apartment. You can all stay here and talk, become best friends if you want. Share all my secrets, I don’t fucking care.”
Aware he’s just lost his shit but unable to mask, Andrew heads to his bedroom and slams the door behind him, collapsing against the closed door. This is why he never lets go. Andrew is a goddamn house of cards, and one more wrong move is going to have him crumbling.
13NICHOLAS
WatchingAndrew walk away makes something nasty crawl its way into Nicholas’s throat. It’s like the rage room all over again, standing back and watching Andrew’s carefully crafted composure fall. Except the only thing he seems to be breaking this time is himself.
It’s strange to remember the first time he met Andrew, he thought there was nothing to him. He now knows this man is full of layers and walls. Walls Nicholas is learning to understand. For all his lashing out and storming away, he knows Andrew enough already to know he shouldn’t be alone right now, yet neither Charlie or his little boyfriend that Andrew seems painfully fond of, are going after him.
“Is someone going to follow Andrew?” Nicholas demands.
