Page 21 of Seal the Deal
“Does he look exactly like you then?”
“Yes and no.” Andrew fingers the edge of his cloth napkin. “We’re identical twins but our styles are…different.”
“Different like—” Nicholas prompts.
“He’s an artist. His style is a lot brighter and bolder than mine.”
Nicholas hums, trying to picture another version of Andrew. Somehow he can’t.
“What?”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You hummed.”
“Which was not saying anything,” Nicholas points out.
“Speaking of not saying anything, you ignored my texts and emails. This would’ve been easier if you’d filled out the questionnaire I sent you.”
“What questionnaire?” Nicholas asks.
“The questionnaire I made in excel to see if we were compatible.”
“What does it matter if we’re compatible? It’s not real.”
“Be that as it may,” Andrew scoffs, “appearances matter. I still don’t know why you want a fake boyfriend since neither you nor Amanda were forthcoming about that over dinner, but I’m going to assume it’s related to some kind of PR issue, meaning people will be paying attention and?—”
“It’s not a PR stunt. I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks about me. If someone doesn’t like me, they can fuck off.”
“How charming,” Andrew says in such a calm tone it’s impossible to tell if he’s being serious or sarcastic. Before Nicholas can try and figure that out, he’s being handed a stack of papers. “I took the liberty of printing it out for you to fill out over dinner.”
“What the fuck is this?”
“I just told you, it’s a compatibility questionnaire.”
Nicholas’s eyes scan over the first page which ranges fromdo you like coffeetowhat is your preferred method of transportation. There are several more pages of questions including things like what side of the bed he prefers, if he’s a morning or night person and even how many dates would you need to go on before using the term boyfriend. Nicholas can do nothing more than stare at the papers like it’s some kind of test he’s doomed to fail.
“I’m not fucking filling this out.”
“Yes, you are,” Andrew replies with a frankly annoyingly calm smile. “Then after, we can go over the contract I drew up.”
“I thought you were an accountant, not a lawyer.”
“I am an accountant. My parents are lawyers.”
“You had your parents draw up a contract to fake date me?” Nicholas gapes.
“No,” Andrew replies as if Nicholas is the ridiculous one in this situation. “I don’t want anyone to know I’m fake dating you. Which is why I’ve included an NDA in there. In fact, if this isn’t a PR stunt then as few people as possible will even need to know we’re dating—or fake dating if you want to be accurate—as possible. Eventually, we’ll have to just call it dating if we both agree to move forward with this. Honestly though, this will all be a lot easier than I initially anticipated if we don’t need to involve my brothers—particularly Charlie.”
“Why the fuck would we involve your brother?”
“Because Charlie is a nosy fucker who knows everything about me. Or almost everything. It would be almost impossible to hide this from him, but that might be the smartest thing because there’s just no way he’d believe we were dating.”
“Why the fuck not?” Nicholas asks, voice too loud judging by the stares they garner.
“Lower your voice please,” Andrew requests.
“Fuck you,” Nicholas grumbles, crossing his arms.
