Page 14 of Sinful Nights
“No.” Bash blows a raspberry, closing his eyes. “I’m sure you hear this over and over. I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t be sorry.” I lean forward, placing my hand on his knee. “Trust me, you’re not the only one who has asked.”
“So, do you have a girlfriend or something? I would hope not, since I’ve never met her and you’ve never talked about a girlfriend, so hello to hiding her if you are.”
Fucking Bash. I swear this guy can make me laugh so much. Even when he’s not even trying, I tear up from laughing so hard. “No, there’s no girlfriend.”
Bash leans back on the pillow, turning his head to face me. “Have you ever had a girlfriend?” he whispers, my heart stopping at his question.
“A couple,” I tell him honestly, pulling at the small thread on his throw pillow. “But, uh, they didn’t last long. I don’t knowwhether it was them or me.” I take a deep breath before quietly adding, “Probably me.”
“Can I ask you another personal question?”
“Jeez,” I chuckle, leaning back against the couch. “How many personal questions do you have?”
“Oh, honey, I have a ton. But I won’t ask them all tonight. I promise.”
Waving one hand in a go-ahead gesture, I smile and say, “Okay, ask away.”
“Are you sure you’re straight? I mean, if you are, that’s good, but I don’t know… I just get the feeling that there’s more to you than meets the eye.”
I think about what Bash is saying and how his words echo what I’ve told myself plenty of times in the past. Feeling safe in his presence, I start talking, “Saying I’m straight is a lot easier than saying I don’t know. I mean, growing up, it’s always been either you like girls or you like boys, or you like both. But I don’t know. I’ve never really felt that way with anyone. From what I’ve been told, you look at someone, and you just have a gut feeling that you’re attracted to that person or that you want to fuck them. I don’t know what that feels like, so when people ask, it’s just easier for me to say I’m straight since they need the label.”
“Hmm,” Bash replies, sitting quietly. My mind races, wondering what he’s thinking when he finally speaks again. “Ya know, what you feel is completely normal.”
A record scratch sound fills my head as I stare at him. “What?”
“Yeah, not everyone has an attraction that way. Some people don’t even feel attraction until they’ve gotten to know a person on a deeper level. There’s no rulebook to this, Cole. Everyone is different.”
“Wow.” I’m speechless. I’ve always just assumed you have to feel a certain way, and I’ve never felt that. And I haven’t wanted to open the door and say I don’t feel the same way that others do.
“That’s why I was asking about Oak. I’ll say it again: you guys act like a married couple. Without the kissing and sex, of course. Have you ever thought of him that way?”
“Um, I mean, there have been times when I’ve thought that Oak is my soulmate. Like I said, he’s my other half, but that’s it.”
“Hmm, try to kiss him.”
“Bash!” I laugh, grabbing the throw pillow and smacking him with it. “What the hell?”
He shrugs, laughing loudly. “I’m just saying to try it. Maybe it will change things.”
Exhaling deeply, I fall back down on the couch. “I wouldn’t want things to change with him, though. And a kiss would definitely change things.”
“Maybe,” Bash mumbles. “I get it, though. With everything you’ve told me, maybe there are some things about yourself you don’t even know.”
“Seems as though there is. Thanks for that,” I deadpan.
“Hey, I said it was a personal question. I probably should have added that it would make you question all of your life choices as well.”
“Well, now it’s my turn to ask you a personal question.” I don’t even care to know the answer to this question, but I want to get the spotlight off me. My heart is beating way too fast, and all I can think about is what would happen if I kissed Oak? Would I actually feel passion for someone? Or would it be like every other kiss I’ve experienced, where I hyped it up in my head only for it to be bland or unexciting?
He grabs my hand, squeezing it tightly. “You can ask me anything. I have nothing to hide.”
“How many boyfriends have you had?”
“Phew, I thought you were going to get even more personal than that,” he laughs loudly, me chuckling alongside him. “I’ve only had a handful. Way too much drama.”
“Have you ever been in love?”
