Page 18 of Because I Killed Him
What stops me is the reminder that while I was fighting for my life against a Blue, Charlotte was cozying up to one.
“Is Edmund Prew Jack’s best friend?” I ask as a Pinkie hands me a glass of Imperial, a red wine that’s light and not too acidic.
“Yeah.” Charlotte nods stiffly and lights a cigarette with an emerald-studded lighter.
“So, Edmund’s the one who made you cut me off?”
“No. I never told him about you.” Her mouth hardens, as if she’s holding back half of what she’s thinking. “When I was with Jack, I saw Edmund and his twin sister all the time, way more than I was comfortable with. I loved Jack, so I figured putting up with Blues was worth it, but I didn’t want to drag you into the Prews’ path, especially since your dad would’ve killed me.”
“So why didn’t you just tell me?”
“Because I knew you’d try to protect me. And since Jack would rather die than turn his back on Edmund, you wouldn’t have approved. You’d have tried to break us up.”
She’s right about that. There’s no way I would’ve stood by and watched her risk her life for a relationship.
“You really love Jack that much?”
“Yeah, Lore, I do. But…” Charlotte stubs out her cigarette with a slow, defeated motion. “It’s over. He’ll never take me back. I was hoping being at Grandmaster would help me move on, but last week I found out Jack got accepted. Edmund and his spider of a twin sister did, too.”
It strikes me how differently Charlotte talks about Edmund compared to his twin. There’s pain in her voice when she mentions Edmund, but pure hatred when she mentions his sister.
“Grandmaster’s got thirty thousand students,” I say. “Why can’t you just avoid them?”
She laughs bitterly, as if I just told her to outrun a heat-seeking missile.
“Attention, passengers,” an automated voice says over the jet’s PA system. “We are now leaving the Green District. Remaining flight time: eight hours.”
Charlotte and I get up from the bar and rush to the nearest window. Through the darkness and rain, I can make out only a sea of hazy lights, shimmering like bright blooms of jellyfish. But I know it’s the Rainbow District. Of the five districts in the Civilized World, it’s the only one where high-citizens and low-citizens live together.
“Can’t see a damn thing,” I mutter, my breath fogging the glass.
“It’s nothing I haven’t seen before,” Charlotte says. “The Prews own property in the Rainbow District. When Jack and I were together, Edmundinvited us there a few times a month. The driveway alone is the size of a damn freeway.”
I frown. “You’re still a Private Person. How’d you get permission to leave the Green District?”
“Edmund got it for me.” She tugs off her T-strap heels with a shrug. “Sometimes, hanging with Blues has an upside.”
That’s more than an upside. The only time I was allowed to leave the Green District was for the Junior Fencing World Championship. Even then, it took more than three months to obtain travel approval from the border police. Not even Dad, with all his political influence, could fast-track the process.
Charlotte returns to the bar with a tired sigh. “I’m going to get some sleep. You should, too.” She drains the rest of her Gibson in one go, then hands the empty glass to a Pinkie. “If you’re up for it, we can finish talking in the morning.”
“No.” The word comes out sharper than I intend, but I don’t take it back. “There’s nothing else to say. Even if you hadn’t cut me off, our friendship wouldn’t have lasted.”
Her eyes narrow. “You sound sure about that.”
“I am, Charlotte. Because you were right: Blues are my line. Maybe I’ll have to cross it one day, but I’ll never do it willingly.”
“Well, I didn’t cross it willingly,either.” Charlotte swipes her T-strap shoes off the floor with a grimace. “Look, Lore, I don’t regret what I did, but that doesn’t mean it was easy. It took months for me to stop watching from the window, wondering if you’d show up at my door for answers.”
“I never considered coming.”
“Not even once? Why not?”
“Because I don’t chase love.”
Charlotte stiffens as if I slapped her. “If that’s true, consider yourself lucky. For a lot of people, chasing love is the only way we get it.”
“I never made you chase after mine.”
