Page 47 of Regal Feather
I glanced away. I was aware. I’d read the stories. It just didn’t apply to me, did it?
It couldn’t.
It couldn’t make the voices true.
My parents.
The men who had handled my discharge.
The men in my unit.
Every other man there who whispered and laughed too loud about conquests that made me want to throw up.
“I…”
My mouth opened to let out more words, but nothing came out.
I should’ve waited. Should’ve talked with a professional first. Should’ve had this conversation back in the villa instead of here, where everyone who walked by could see I was on the brink of…
“I love you.” The words didn’t make sense at first. “You know that, right? You and me against the world doesn’t change.”
“But.”
“No buts.” Fuck. My eyes stung so bad. Blinking fast didn’t help as much as I’d hoped it would. Ever was still there, in front of me, eclipsing everything. He was everything. “I love you. And I have a lot of feelings and thoughts on what I want to happen to that woman, but I don’t care about that now.”
“You don’t?”
Ever shook his head. Fuck, he was fucking beautiful, and he was here, and the itchiness and the discomfort hadn’t gone away, but I couldn’t care about it when he was here. He was holding me. He was saying that he loved me.
It wasn’t the first time we’d uttered the words, but there was no way I was imagining a deeper meaning now.
“I care about you,” he sniffled, his turn to look away and blink fast. I clenched my fingers into fists in response to his vulnerability, the protector in me rising the way it always did when he looked in need of anything. “And I know I don’t have the right things to say, because a love declaration or whatever is really not it, but I’m here for you. Even if it’s in a quiet way that might suffocate you a bit from time to time.”
The chuckle that came out was too wet. Too uncomfortable.
“You won’t tell anyone. Right?”
“Of course not. You and I.”
“Yeah.”
“But…Santos?”
Here we go.
“Yeah?”
Everyone had opinions. I knew that much. Every time something came up in the news, there was never a single person around me who didn’t have a whole argument ready to go in one direction or the other. Sometimes I wondered if it was less about the argument itself and more about hearing themselves talk.
With them, it was easier to withdraw. To shrug it all off and go on with my day.
I knew it wouldn’t be that way with Ever.
Nothing ever worked the same when it came to him. All barriers, all…everything. It disintegrated around him.
“I’m sorry. If I made it feel like…with Sir Ismael…”
“Don’t you fucking dare finish that sentence.”
