Page 124 of Regal Feather
“You sure?”
He nodded while uncapping one of the jars. Tart orange it was today. “Yeah. I think we should set up days when it’s just the two of us here. No obligations or social anything.”
“Uh-huh.” I handed him his plate, thinking through the words I wanted to say. The words I should say? I wasn’t certain. “You realize that’s most days for us.”
“No, because I’m always going to Plumas, or meeting up with the inner circle for one thing or another, or setting up times to talk with my parents. And you go out for runs and therapy and that friend of Carlos’s, so…”
“I’m not sure that all translates into needing a day just for the two of us.”
Breakfast forgotten, Ever bypassed the kitchen island separating us. He looked as coy as he could when he placed a hand on my chest, splaying his fingers while curling his other hand around the hem of my pants. I had to hold my breath for a second, to hit pause and remember there was no malice here. He was just being playful. He felt safe being playful.
“But don’t you want me all to yourself?” He pouted. “Twenty-four hours of doing and wearing everything you tell me to.”
“Like a free use scenario?”
“If you wanna call it that, sure.”
I raised an eyebrow. He couldn’t be so blasé about that, could he? I wasn’t the expert, but free use seemed like the kind of thing that looked good on paper, but it would take a lot of trust and negotiation and all the things that made me freeze up because I wasn’t quite there yet.
I couldn’t guarantee that I wouldn’t hurt him, that I wouldn’t either do too much or too little, and it would be nothing like he was fantasizing about.
“I’ll…consider it.” I wasn’t so self-sacrificing that I’d refuse the very idea, yet… Things had always moved fast between us, but this was probably too fast. We should still be finding our ways back to each other, not adding more elements to what we had. “Now add more fruit to your plate, for fuck’s sake. You need the fiber.”
“Daddies don’t do it for me.”
“Uh-huh.”
They might not do it for him, but he dunked at least two bananas’ worth of sliced pieces onto his plate.
That, too, healed something in me. Or maybe that part wasn’t broken, and it was simply back to working the way it should. Taking care of Ever. Making sure that he had everything.
forty
Erika
Are you sure about the new date?
Ev
Yes, Ma’am
Erika
You don’t have to run a workshop if you don’t feel comfortable doing it
Ev
I know, but I’m sure
Last time I just needed to fix some stuff with Santos
Erika
All right
Next Friday, then?
María
