Page 98 of Now Until Forever
Carlos’s lips twitched. “Sorry.” He shifted to lean back against the seat. “Maybe I’m sorry for a lot of things.”
It was out now.
Eliana looked over at him, but he didn’t look at her. She could stare at his profile the way he’d been doing with her. He just wished he knew what was going on in her head.
Finally, she said, “Like what?”
Carlos shot her a look. “You know what.”
“You’ve never been sorry about that before.”
“Maybe I’m starting to regret it. Now that I’m older and”—he coughed—“so much wiser.”
She snorted.
Carlos grinned. “Haven’t heard you make that sound in a while.”
“Yeah, yeah.” She shoved his arm gently. “So you’re starting to regret it.”
“Look…” He glanced down at his hands for a second, then faced her again. “I was a dumb kid. I…I knew how you felt. I was flattered, but I wasn’t ready. I was a moron who handled it badly. Whether my friends had anything to do with it or not, I shouldn’t have handled it like that. I knew you were devastated. I’m surprised you even spoke to me afterward.”
“My mom told me I had to forgive you. That I had no choice if I wanted to be right with the Lord.” She bit her lip. “It was hard, and I don’t think it ever really healed, but I don’t hold it against you.”
“I held things against you that I shouldn’t have. But only to insulate myself from how I really felt about you.” Carlos realized what he’d said too late to call it back. “I tried to find fault in who you are, but I was wrong. About everything.”
“What do you mean how you felt about me?”
“All the things you said in the cafeteria.”
She made a sound in her throat. “I shouldn’t have done it there.”
“You meant what you said, and it took guts to say it.”
“I declared my undying love for you in front of a room full of people. I told you that we were going to get married and have kids, and get a dog, and live happily ever after.” She lifted the pillow and put it over her face.
Carlos stared at her, thinking about the girl who’d said all those things. “She had guts.” He tugged the pillow down. “You seem so unsure of who you are. But that girl? She knew who she was. She knew who she was meant to be, and I took that from her.”
Eliana looked at him, and a tear rolled down her cheek.
“I should never have done that.” He reached over and thumbed the tear away. “I should have cherished who you are and taken care of how you felt about me.”
Her expression softened. “Carlos?—”
A heavy knock pounded on the door.
Eliana flinched, backing up into the seat.
“I’ve got it. Stay here.” Carlos rose from the seat and pulled a pistol from the top shelf of the bookcase, checking the weapon. In the hall, he said, “Who is it?”
From behind the door he heard, “Tony. Open up.”
Carlos unlocked the door and as he pulled it open, he realized Eliana had come to stand by the living room door. “Hey.”
The head of security from the Shrine stepped into his entryway, clocking immediately that Carlos had a gun. He nodded. “Good. But you can stand down now.” He glanced between them. “The team assigned to finding Luci has something they need you to see.”
Eliana said, “What is it?”
At the same time, Carlos said, “What team?”
