Page 62 of Don't Leave Me Behind
“The fuck did you say to me?”
“Didn’t you know? He went after her. Used to joke about it at the bar. Made her scream when he caught up to her.” He laughs in my face, spittle and stale alcohol churning my stomach into something hot and acidic. I shove his chest, head slamming into the wall, hard.
“Shut your fucking mouth.”
“Go ask ‘im,” Jerry cackles. “He’s probably over there rotting in a pile of vomit since his good-for-nothing son couldn’t bother to come check on him!”
He’s shouting at me as I leave him with Clark and stomp my way out of the trailer. I don’t bother getting in my truck. I already know I’ll have to come back here to get statements.
My feet carry me through the streets, boots pounding pavement as I haul ass to lot fourteen. A weight drops into my stomach. My breath catches in my throat when I see the trailer. It looks the same, only worse. It’s fallen into a state of disrepair, so bad I’d almost think it was abandoned, if my dad wasn’t sitting right there, nursing a beer.
“Did you kill her?” I storm up the little sidewalk that leads to his front door, my fists itching to pound into him.
“Son?” He looks up, bewildered. I grab the collar of his shirt, slamming him into the side of the trailer, the smell of beer and cigarettes wafting into my face when the air rushes out of him.
“Did you kill her?” I grit out, my voice low and lethal.I’m going to fucking kill him.
“Who? Your mom? I didn’t fucking kill her. She left us, remember that? She left. Couldn’t handle your whiny little?—”
I wind my arm back, about to rearrange his face, when I’m jerked backward by my vest. A strong tattooed hand shoves my chest toward the street.
“Leave him,” Nate’s voice is low, menacing. “He’s not fucking worth it.”
My chest heaves, fingers flexing and contracting, making fists at my side. My heart is pounding. Hot, demanding blood pounds in my ears,hisblood.
“Leave him to rot here, Clay. He doesn’t deserve any of your time or hatred.” Nate’s in my face, his wintergreen-scented breath blowing over me, centering me.
“Yeah, Clay,” my dad’s voice grates out. “Run along like the little pussy you are.”
I lunge for him, already knowing Nate won’t let me get any closer than I am. I need to put the energy somewhere.
“He wants you to hit him, Clay.” Nate shakes his head, looking at me with eyes that seem to know, like he’s been here before. “You are not him, so walk away.”
He gives my vest another shove before I turn around and head back to the call. To the other asshole who doesn’t give a shit about anyone but himself. I might not have been able to do anything about my dad, but I can lock this motherfucker up and make sure he can’t hurt his wife and kids again.
At least not today.
I’m finishingup my supplemental report when Mercer finally makes a physical appearance. He rolls an office chair over to the desk I’m sitting at, scrubbing a hand down his face when he plops down into it.
“You’re a dick.” He pins me with a glare, fingers tapping on the armrest of his chair. “I told you to wait.”
“She would’ve died,” I mumble, not even looking at him as I finish typing the last sentence into my report.
“You don’t actually know that.”
I take the report from the hospital and toss it at him. I’ve already scanned it into my case file. The ER determined she was minutes away from succumbing to her injuries. If we hadn’t shown up and gotten her help, she would have died. Leaving those two kids with their abusive father or foster care as their only option.
“Well, shit.” Mercer closes the file and puts it back on the desk, waiting until I turn to him. “I trust your judgement, Clay, I do. But stupid shit like this is how good cops die. I don’t know about you, but I’m not ready to bury you yet.”
“I get it, Merc. I was waiting. I waited outside until that little girl came stumbling out with a bruise on her eye, saying he was going to kill her mom.”
“Fuck,” he breathes. “Why’s it always the kids?”
“Fuck if I know.” I shake my head, leaning back in my chair. trying to let my body decompress. My dad’s words ring through my head on repeat.I’m the reason she left.I know that. I’ve always known that. He beat that shit into my head. There’s no escaping it. Mom knew I’d end up like him one day; it’s the curse of all the Traeger men. I wasn’t worth bothering with.
“You okay?” Mercer brings me back into the present, head cocked to the side. “I know it must have brought shit up, being in Cross Point, dealing with a domestic.”
I nod, my eye catching Nate’s as he leans around his desk to look at me. I can see the question in his face; he’s wondering if I’m going to tell Mercer about my dad. About Jerry goading me into a fight with him. I will, eventually, but tonight, all I want to do is go home. Forget about all this shit and pretend I never came from that place.
