Page 32 of Don't Leave Me Behind

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Do you even like us anymore?

Shouldn’t you two be working?

Adler James

See?

Tobias Russel

You don’t love us

Adler James

And you never did

You are the whiniest bunch of men I have ever met.

Adler James

At least you called us men this time

Tobias Russell

She actually answered too. That’s new.

A weight drops into my stomach when I realize how long it’s been since I’ve texted my brothers. I answer their calls, but only because I know if I don’t, they’ll jump in a truck and come find me. I learned that the hard way my freshman year of college. I never call them, and always avoid it until I absolutelycan’t anymore. I love them, and I miss them so bad it hurts sometimes. But I can’t live with everyone hovering over me all the time, smothering me worse than a Texas barbecue.

I miss you guys. Be good.

Adler James

Who us?

Tobias Russel

We’re always good Leni.

Mercer Duane

We’d be better if you were here though.

Adler James

Goddamn it Mercer!

Tobias Russel

How the fuck is he in every group chat?

I stg

Mercer Duane

I cackle. The fog from the nightmare lifts as I stare down at my screen. When I left, I swore I’d never move back here. That I would never miss being so close to the family, but I do. I miss them more as each year goes by. The trouble is, I don’t know if it’s them I miss, or the way it used to be. We’ve all grown and changed. Who’s to say they wouldn’t drive me off again? Overreacting and overreaching as they ‘protect’ me.

Scooping up my laptop, I search the online job boards back in Benson. The sooner I can find something, the sooner I can get back to life as it was. Not how I wish it could be.

I gaveup half an hour into filling out applications and took a long, hot bath. Letting my weary bones soak, scrubbing my skin raw. I always feel so dirty after those nightmares. He might not have raped me, but his filthy hands were all over me. Strike number one thousand against myself: I’d only brought dresses to wear. Teenage Leni was hoping Clay would take advantage of the easy access, not some stranger.

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