Page 100 of Don't Leave Me Behind
Clay shakes his head, looking as shocked as I feel.
“You came from shittier circumstances than she did, and you turned out okay. I almost told Kate to get lost, but then I remembered that day we came after you. The way you looked around the table that night, like you were the luckiest kid in the world, and I knew we were her best bet.” He looks down at the baby in his arms with a soft smile on his face. “That she will be the luckiest girl in the world. So I signed the papers, and hereshe is. I thought I was going to have to wait longer for the two of you to figure things out, but since you’re both here, and we know things don’t always go to plan, I was kind of hoping you’d agree to be her godparents.”
I can’t stop the tears from streaming down my cheeks, chest growing tighter the more I cry. For Brooks and Tessa, for little Clay who needed a family. For this man who’s standing before me, losing the only family he’s ever known because he fell in love with someone as selfish as I am. God, he thinks he doesn’t deserve me, but it’s the other way around.
“Brooks, you asshole, the one time you choose to monologue and look what you’ve done to me.” It takes an embarrassing amount of effort to bring the scratchy hospital blanket up to wipe my eyes.
“Sorry,” Brooks croaks, wiping at the corners of his own eyes. “Fuck, this whole, you almost dying and me becoming a dad thing has made me mushy.”
“It’s okay, it’s actually helping. I thought someone put sandpaper in my eyes earlier.” Looking at Clay, I tilt my head. “Godparents?”
Clay’s eyes darken, recognizing the question for what it is. Less about being godparents, more about us. Are we still an us? “Hell yeah.” He walks into the room and pulls Brooks into a hug. “I—we, would be honored, Brooks.”
“Good,” he sighs. “Now I have to break it to the guys.”
“Eeeh, I don’t envy you with that.” I try to grin, but judging by the look on their faces, it must look more like a grimace.
“How bad is it?” Brooks asks, pushing to stand from his chair.
“It’s not great,” I whisper, leaning further into the bed.
“Get some rest, we’ll be here as long as you need us.” Brooks gives my hand one last squeeze.
“You sure the ranch isn’t falling apart?”
“Nah,” Brooks says, looking between Clay and me. “The whole town’s banded together to take care of things. Turns out you’re kind of a big deal.”
I gasp, closing my eyes as I feign horror. “You’re just now finding this out.”
Brooks chuckles as he leans down and kisses my forehead. “Love you, Leni.”
“I love you too, Brooky.” My voice chokes, more tears slipping through.
Brooks makes his way out the door, and I’m finally left alone with Clay. He’s standing at the end of my bed, looking haggard. I wonder if he’s slept at all the past three days. If he’s okay. I’ve never seen Mercer mad at him, much less mad enough to throw punches. Clay looks like he’s taken at least one fist to the face.
“I’m so sorry,” I whisper, reaching my unbroken arm toward him. Clay rushes to the side of the bed, dropping down to his knees as he buries his face in my hand.
“I was so worried, baby.” His voice is muffled in my palm.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I was trying to find my phone to call you. That’s why I stopped because I needed to tell you that I was wrong. The things I said…”
“It’s okay,” he whispers. His lips press to my hand before he stands up, grey eyes boring into mine. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not. I didn’t mean those things. You are enough. You’re everything. I’m the reason Mercer is acting like this, I?—”
“Baby,” he whispers, leaning down towards my face, one hand sweeping hair back behind my ear. “Do you want me here?”
“Yes,” I whimper. The thought of him leaving, of being even a minute without him, makes my chest ache.
“Then I don’t care about Mercer or his feelings. I don’t careif they all decide to hate me tomorrow, because I’m not leaving you.”
“I love you,” I whisper, my lips moving against his. He pecks me once on the lips, and my eyes flutter closed.
The silence feels loud between us, but I’m too tired to open my eyes, too tired to try and figure out how to fix what I’ve broken. Instead, I scoot over and tug his hand.
“Leni,” he warns, keeping his big body right where he planted it. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Please? I need you to hold me. I thought…” I manage to peel my eyes open as they fog over with a fresh batch of tears. “I thought I’d never see you again.”
