Page 57 of Don't Leave Me Behind
I stare at my hands on her hips, giving her a gentle squeeze before I bring my eyes back to hers. “How are you not taken already?”
She huffs a laugh and takes my wrists, slowly dragging them around her backside. I swallow back a groan. She has the most incredible body. “I had this insane crush when I was younger.”
“Oh, did you?”
“Mhm.” She winks, nudging my hands to move up her back. “No one else really measured up.”
I sigh, hands trailing up her back and over her shoulders. Goosebumps appear under my fingertips as I drag them down her arm. Her nipples pebble in her thin workout top. My mouth waters at the sight.
“What about you?” She drapes her arms over my shoulders, the tips of her fingers playing with the curls at the nape of my neck. “Why are you still single?”
“I never really looked,” I answer honestly.
“How come?” She sits back, her head tilted to the side, eyes assessing me.
“Who would I be good enough for? The insomniac veteran who comes from a shitty family and occasionally has panic attacks.”
“First of all, the man who fathered you and the woman who abandoned you are not your family. Second, me...for starters.”
I chuckle, rolling my eyes. “I’m really not good enough for you. Not even close.”
Leni grabs my chin, lifting my gaze to meet hers. She stares into my soul, stripping me bare with the weight of her eyes. “You were raised by the best man that I know. I’ve seen yourheart, the one that aches for anyone or anything in pain. I’ve seen your kindness and your generosity. Ten years away didn’t change that. You deserve everything you want in this life and more.”
“What if the thing that I want risks all the other good things in my life?”
“What’s life without a little risk?”
“Safe. A life without risk is safe.”
“Is that what you want?” She pulls away, pressing down on my shoulders to stand. “You want to play it safe? For the rest of your life?”
“No.” I’m scrambling. The thoughts in my head rush through faster than I can organize them. She sees the pause as hesitation, more indecision, when that’s the furthest thing from what this is. I’m trying not to prematurely tell her I love her. Trying not to get down on my knees and beg her to stay. To let me fix what’s broken between her and the family so that everything can go back to the way it’s supposed to be.
I see the disappointment dim her eyes, shoulders stooping with a sigh as she walks away.
“Leni,” I launch myself at her, spinning her around and cradling her face in my hands. “I want you. You’re all I’ve ever fucking wanted.”
Her eyes bounce back and forth between mine, nodding once. “Then stop pretending you don’t, Clay. I can’t do the ‘will they, won’t they’ bit with you. Either have me, or don’t have me. It’s that simple.”
“It’s not that simple, and you know it. Us being together and falling apart affects more than just us. Your family is my family. I have no one without them. I already lost you once, and it nearly destroyed me. How do I pretend that the risks don’t matter?”
“You don’t pretend anything. You choose to take a chanceon us and stop planning for the worst-case scenario. You choose me over the fear. You letmebe enough.”
“You are,” I whisper, my hands slipping back into her soft hair. The strands move through my fingers like silk. “But what ifI’mnot?”
“You are more than enough.” She whispers the words I’ve so desperately needed to hear my whole life.
I kiss her tenderly, pouring all the words I didn’t say into the kiss, hoping she can feel them. Hoping she understands how much I mean it.
Chapter 18
Who Buys One Condom?
Clay
There’sa moment when I wake up, and I don’t know where I am. I tighten my arms instinctually, pulling something warm and soft deeper into my embrace. I open my eyes to a headful of brown waves tucked below my chin. Lilacs and vanilla flood my senses as I bury my face in her hair.
Home.
