Page 104 of Don't Leave Me Behind
“He’s not staying here,” Mercer cuts in, arms crossing over his chest.
Clay’s shoulders droop, the look of utter defeat on his face.
“Excuse me?” I scoff at the same time Ma says, “I beg your pardon?”
She looks at us, her face drawing into a tight expression. One that has Mercer relaxing his stance. A form of surrender.
“He can’t stay here, Ma. Not after everything.” Mercer spreads his fingers wide, lifting his hands out in front of him.
“He can, and he will. If that’s what your sister wants. This is my home, Mercer Duane, you’d do well to remember that.”
“Of course, he’s staying with me. In my room.” I glare at Mercer. “This whole over-the-top, trying to make decisions forme thing is the reason I never came back before. You’re lucky, I have nowhere else to go. Lucky that Clay is willing to be here with me, because if he weren’t here, I wouldn’t be either.”
Mercer shakes his head, crouching down to my level, which makes me feel even more like a child, stuck in this goddamn wheelchair. “That’s not fair.”
“Don’t,” I cut him off. “Save it. Ma, can you call a family dinner tonight? If we’re going to be back, staying here, there’s some shit we need to work out.”
Ma gives me the biggest smile, her eyes brightening as she nods. Whipping her phone out, I grin at the fervor with which she types out her message.
Tonight should be really fun for everyone.
Rain peltsmy face as I stare up at a pitch-black sky. I can’t feel my legs. Every other part of my body is screaming in pain. Something thick and warm drips down my forehead, into my eyes, tinging the world around me an eerie red.
My car’s horn, or maybe it’s the other car’s horn, is blaring, like the driver is stuck there, pressing on it. Suddenly, the heavens open and the rain begins to pour. It rises on the street, filling my car. Ice cold water that feels like daggers pricking my skin as it continues to rise.
Move. I tell myself. Please move. But I can’t get out. I can’t feel my legs. I’m going to die here. I’m going to drown.
Please! I beg.
“Shh,baby. Leni girl, you’re safe. You’re safe, baby. Wake up, love.” I wake sobbing. Clay holds me to his chest as he strokesmy hair, arms wrapped tight around me. “You’re safe, Leni. You’re safe.”
I can’t form words coherently, as I cling to him. The only thing I can say is his name; it comes out broken, and I keep saying it like I’m begging. Begging him to take the nightmares and the pain in my body. Begging him to make it all better again. To erase the last few weeks and make me whole again.
“The rain,” I whimper, when my sobs have subsided enough to speak. “I thought it was real. I thought I was going to drown.” I choke back tears again, trying to get my words out.
“You’re safe. You didn’t drown. You’re safe.”
“It felt so real. It was cold. I could feel the rain. I could smell the smoke.”
“I know, baby.” He wipes my face, smoothing my hair back before he looks me in the eye and says, “Iknow.”
He’s been here, waking from nightmares that feel like real life, and I suddenly realize how horrible all those years must have been for him.
“Tell me that it goes away. Tell me that it gets better. Please.”
“It does, love. It gets better. They get less real, and as time goes on, you stop dreaming about them altogether. You start to dream new dreams. Better ones.”
“What were your better ones?” I whisper, snuggling back into his chest, pulling the blankets under my chin.
“You. You were in my better dreams. Every single one of them. Sometimes we were on the boat, and you’d close your eyes and turn your face up to the sun. Sometimes we were here in your room, and you’d hold me through the night, so I’d feel safe again.”
“All that time?”
“From that very first night when you snuckin to help me. That was the first night I dreamed of you. Eventually, the bad dreams became less, and when I could sleep, I always dreamed of you.”
Chapter 35
We All Lost the Bet
