Page 28 of Do It Yourself
“Take it back.” Paul’s voice is hard to understand with my face stuffed into his stinky armpit.
“Let her go, you jerk.” I can’t tell which sister is coming to my defense because Paul’s terrible grip only tightens.
A million years later, Paul releases me and I gulp down some man funk-less air. “I take it back, I don’t loveyou.You’re the same smelly little turd you’ve always been.” I shove Paul’s shoulder, so hard his chair tips to the side and Paul lets out a very manly squeal of terror.
“Oh my god, can you please calm down? People are starting to stare.” Elle’s scowl freezes our messing around and we all mumble our apologies but I can see the corner of her lip twitch as we return to our meals.
The next week and a half goes by quick enough.
Jude didn’t join me at the market this weekend and was off the farm as the family packed up my truck. I’d volunteered to drive to the cabin early to get it ready for the long weekend. It was July now and none of us had been down yet this year which was very unusual for our family. I couldn’t wait to get up to the cabin and have it alone for a day or two before Mama joined me with the remaining supplies. It’s a nice Sunday night and I am all loaded up and planning on getting up early to take the hours-long drive.
The only problem?
I can’t shut down my damn brain so I can get some rest before hitting the road. I know I con nap once I arrive at the cabin but I refuse to drive drowsy, so I really need to get at least a few hours. I let out a huff of frustration, rolling to the other side of my bed. This unoccupied side is much cooler and helps a little to calm down my heated skin.
I press my hand against the lower part of my stomach, feeling a swoop and I realize what might be the problem.
I must be ovulating.
Like my body was waiting for me to recognize what was happening, a tell-tale swoop of horniness hit me between the legs and I know I won’t be getting any sleep until I have at least one orgasm.
“Dammit.”
Bottoms: Off.
Internet: Incognito and on my favorite site.
Fingers: Already wet as I start to tease my lower lips.
I do my best to make this a quick flick but each time I’m almost hitting the peak of an orgasm, it starts to fade away. My favorite videos are doing nothing for me. One handed, I close out of the tab and switch out of incognito before I throw my phone to the other side of the bed.
Hoping a different avenue will get me where I need to go, I close my eyes as my fingers return to my clit, conjuring dirty words and ideas in my head. Maybe focusing my mind on sexy scenarios will keep my brain from edging me again.
Muscles and tanned skin stretching out a muscle tee, barely there scruff that tickles my thighs. A backwards ball cap barely able to contain sun dyed blonde hair. “Fuck, trouble. You taste so good.”
No, not him.
My release hits me hard and fast, a low moan escaping.
Fuck.
No!
Why did I have to think about him?
Why did my body have to explode as soon as that off limits giant’s gruff voice and annoying nickname flooded my mind?
Why couldn’t I get him out of my head?
A yawn breaks my spiral. Of fucking course my body is shutting down after one of the best self-made orgasms I’ve ever had. I hate myself. I clean up and redress before climbing back into bed. My eyelids are heavy but not as heavy as the guilt that’s formed a stone that rests right on my chest. I feel dirty, like I did something wrong, betrayed my brother in a way I could never admit.
My stomach clenches with guilt at the thought of another secret I’m going to be keeping for the most important people in my life. I climb out of bed, pulling my pants back on and stomping out of my room. There’s only one thing I can think of to help calm my frayed nerves.
I grab a blanket off of the blanket ladder standing in my living room, slip on my sandals and stomp outside. I’m round the side of my house, where I know I’m hidden from the Big House and Elle’s home.
I doubt either of them would be peeking out their windows but I still liked to be cautious. I throw the blanket on the ground, smoothing it out and laying on my back.
I breathe deeply as I let the stars calm my nerves.
