Page 76 of Do It Yourself
“Listen, we don’t have to bring up the baby to Paul or Mama D if you’re not ready for that. It’s still early and you’re not required to share that with anyone else until you’re ready.”
God, how is he so perfect for me?
“Well, Mama already knows about my loss. I kind of maybe went to Mama way back when I thought you were done with me.”
My face heats at my admission. Over the last few weeks we’ve had a lot of discussions about the miscommunication that happened during and after his family’s get together. We were both embarrassed at how terribly we handled the situation.
“Well, that’s good but we still don’t need to tell her about this baby.”
“Yeah, I don’t know…I’m so scared.” My admission comes out as a whisper.
“It’s okay to be scared. I’m scared too but I’m here for whatever happens. Now, finish your juice. Elle wants us at the Big House soon so we can strategize. I’m going to get dressed.”
I take a deep breath before chugging the orange juice.
Probably not the best idea given how sick I was last night but so far, it seems like my stomach doesn’t hate me this morning. I can only hope it stays like that, at least until this confrontation with Paul is resolved.
Chapter Sixty-Three
JUDE
This is really happening. Mabel’s hand is shaking in mine as we walk to the Big House. I offered to grab my truck and drive us over to the Big House but Mabel thought the fresh air would be nice. There’s a slight chill to the air and I wished I’d have insisted she grab a jacket for our walk.
Mabel’s trembling gets worse the closer we get to the house. I can’t stand seeing how nervous she is. I stop in my tracks, pulling her against my chest. “I love you, Mabel. We are going to get through this and I promise I’m going to fix whatever it is that I did to Paul.”
“You don’t know if it can be fixed.”
“Yes, I do. Paul loves his family and once he understands how much I love you, we’ll work out a solution.”
“I love you, too.” I don’t miss the fact that she’s not accepting the fact that I’m going to fix this but I can’t stop a smile from forming at her admission of love. I’m never not going to smile when she tells me she loves me.
“Okay, gimme a kiss before we head inside. I might be too nervous to kiss you in front of my mom.” That pulls a laugh out of me, Mabel joins me with a smaller chuckle, but I’m quick to press my mouth against hers.
“Mama! Hurry, Elle was telling the truth!” Patrick’s voice is full of awe. I don’t want to pull away from Mabel but she takes the decision away from me. “Patrick, I can’t believe you screamed that, I was right here.”
Mama D playfully smacks Patrick on the chest, she’s smiling so hard I might worry she’s going to pull a muscle. “Well, come on. You two have a lot to fill me in on before your brother gets here.”
The reminder of why we’re all here is quick to sober Mabel.
She grabs my hand before walking into the house, a small reassurance that we are in this together.
The conversation isn’t as painful as I had been anticipating. Mabel, thankfully, censors the more explicit parts of how we got to where we are now. She doesn’t bring up the pregnancy, simply stating we reconnected at the wedding and have been trying to figure things out since then.
By the time we get to the end of it all, Mama D’s smile has been replaced with a pensive look. She doesn’t say anything at first, all of us sitting in an awkward silence. When she finally decided to speak, her eyes met mine and the look on her face was one I’d never seen before.
Never pointed at me.
“Judey, you know I love you, but before I start helping you open old wounds and bringing things up that can’t be put back, I need to ask you something and I need you to be straight with me. No bullshit.”
“No bullshit.” I offer a nod, letting her know that I’m ready for whatever question she’s about to hit me with.
“I know you’ve had feelings for my daughter for a long time. An infatuation but do you love her? Do you love Mabel?”
I can’t say I’m surprised by the question. It stings a little to think how I feel about Mabel would be questioned by the onepaternal figure I have in my life, someone I respect more than anyone else in the world.
“I have been infatuated with Mabel for a long time.” I swallow, knowing getting this right is paramount. Mabel’s cool hand wraps around my bigger one, she gives me one quick squeeze before moving her hand to my thigh.
Turning to look into Mabel’s sparkling eyes, I answer Mama D.
