Page 58 of Do It Yourself
“Mama, I hate it, I wanted it more than anything. It hurts, even after all this time, it feels like it just happened yesterday.” My body shakes with sobs all over again. Mama rubs my back, whispering calming words in my ear. She doesn’t fill me with false platitudes, just tells me to let it out and she’s here for me.
“My darling girl, you are so strong, holding this in for so long.” A weight I didn’t know I’d been carrying lifts from my shoulders. I want to tell her more.
“I met someone recently, I thought we might be moving towards something more serious but they recently shut down on me.” I sniff, rubbing the tears from my face.
“Oh, Mabel.”
That’s all she says, and it’s all I need.
I don’t need to share more, she understands and she’s here for me. No matter what.
“I love you, Mabel.”
“I love you too, Mama.”
We settle into a comfortable silence, Mama’s arm around my shoulders, my head resting against her shoulder and her head leaning against the top of mine. Sitting here with my Mama,knowing that nothing has changed even after I shared my secrets—well, most of them—I can finally relax.
Things are going to be okay.
With or without Jude .
Chapter Forty-Eight
JUDE
Avoiding Mabel has been easy since returning to the Farm. Once Mason and I part ways, after eating lunch and chatting about his move and cafe for a few hours, I return home and head straight to the Bunk House. It’s dinner time but I ate enough at lunch that I’m fine to skip it. I take a hot shower, trying and failing to wash away the dirty feelings that’ve returned without the distraction of my best friend, and then fall into bed. It’s a restless sleep.
This morning, I head over to the office that Lola and I share and decide to write up my assessment of Mabel and her branch of the business. It takes me almost all day, I’m more skilled as a farmer than a typer.
Late afternoon, Lola joins me in the office. She’s got a plate stacked high with food that I recognize immediately as Mama D’s cooking. My stomach growls and I realize I haven’t eaten anything today, trying too hard to get lost in work.
“Brought you lunch.”
I nod in acknowledgement, not moving from my position until I’m able to save the document. “Thanks. Busy day?” I ask as I take the plate out of Lola’s hands.
It’s clear she’s been out in the fields today.
There’s dirt smeared on her face, like she tried to wipe it off but missed a bit. Little blonde flyaways are plastered to her face, slightly darker from sweat. It’s hot as hell this August. “Trying to help Gabe’s team get all this honey collected. Zeke called out again. Didn’t want to leave the extra work to our good employees.” Lola shrugs like it’s not a big deal but it is. This Zeke guy is starting to become a real problem.
“Thinking we should let him go?” I wouldn’t be opposed to it and I’d be more than willing to get back out there and work with the guys again.
“I don’t want to let him go while we’re busy but once things slow down…” Lola leaves it open-ended, shaking her head side to side.
“Sounds like a good plan, boss.”
“What about Reese? Haven’t heard anything negative about him.”
My mouth is full of pasta salad but I nod. Reese is a good kid and a hard worker. “Like him, would keep him around.” I try to keep it short and sweet, now that I’ve taken a few bites it’s quickly becoming difficult to ignore my empty stomach. I shovel a few more forkfuls into my mouth as Lola moves to her desk, powering up her computer.
“That’s what I’ve heard. Working harder than some of the lifers.”
I snort at that. Some of these so-called lifers, who’ve been around since Lola’s dad was running things, have really started to show their ages. Slowing down in ways that I don’t one hundred percent believe is just because of their ages. Nothing concrete in my suspicions, I’ve been following Mabel around for too long to determine a pattern. That’ll be something I should focus on now that I’ve ended my shadowing job.
I’ve finished off my plate and Lola’s typing away on her keyboard. “I’m just finishing up my report on Mabel’sdepartment. I’d like to see how things have been running since I’ve been gone. You’re working too hard.” Lola snorts a laugh at that. We all know she’s been pushing herself to try and prove who-knows-what since she officially took over. It’s honestly bullshit.
Lola has done more to benefit the Farm than her dad or grandfather ever did.
My phone buzzes with a notification that I just received a text.
