Page 10 of Deviants
“I’m not just talking about this, Cali. I’m talking about back there.” He jerked his head in the general direction we’d just come from, huffing and puffing, still trying to catch his breath. “You were turned on. I saw the way you looked at him. Your hand started to sweat, and your cheeks flushed.”
With a heavy sigh, I brushed the dirt and sticky leaves from my shorts–forcing the naseau I kept getting at the most impromptu times away. “What would you like me to say to that?” I waited for a snarky response and only got stared down.
“What did he do to you?” He slowly shook his head with a look of disappointment.
He knocked down my barricaded walls and made me his in every sense of the word.It wasn’t like I hadn’t practically dared him to. After all, I’d demanded he fuck me the second he put his perfect body against mine. I definitely wouldn’t be joining any women’s equality movements in the future.
“Whatdidn’the do to me?” I snickered. “Don’t you think we should be worrying about what just happened back there?” I pointed over his shoulder.
“They were hailing Satan as yourloverhad three people killed, all while you were sending out huge fuck me signals,” he gritted out through his teeth.
“Oh, okay. Thanks for clarifying.” I turned away and his jaw unhinged.
Staring through the breaks in the treetops, I looked up at the rapidly darkening sky as if it could solve all my problems. Of course, that would never happen, because life was too busy trying to power-bomb me in the ass.
What was Romero up to?
The Hail Satan and flag with his name on it were self-explanatory. It was him hanging people from different factions that I didn’t understand.
If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he was preparing for a hostile takeover or something equally as deadly—or this was a normal occurrence, and I was just too damn sheltered to know that.
Whatever it was, I needed to hit a pause button on my brain until after I slept. Exhausted,I dropped my butt to the ground and my head to my hands. With my back cushioned against a tree and Tito finally shutting the hell up, I had a minute of blissful silence.
It was the quickest minute in history.
“You can’t stop now. We have to get going; those people are still in these woods trying to find us,” Tito rushed out. “You can’t go back to him, Cali. I know you’re aware of who he is. I refuse to believe you’re as fucked up as him.”
The only words that rang with clarity through my foggy brain wereyou can’t. He didn’t ask me; he was telling me.
Everyone was always telling me what I was going to do, never asking what Iwantedto do. I lifted my head and tilted it to the side, studying the man who was now talking down to me and trying to make me feel ashamed for being the way I was.
I never thought he’d judge me like this—screwing his enemy aside. It helped bring a few things into perspective. In the early beginning, I said I would do whatever the fuck I wanted to do, but that wasn’t true, was it?
I chose to keep Tito’s best interests in mind, and Romero’s, too. I struggled to find a balance between fully giving in to a man who made me relish in sin without damning the other.
I could be a truly fucked up person. Okay, I’ll own it, Iwasa fucked up person, but I never wanted my loyalty questioned.
Look where that had gotten me. Look where the hell I was. I think it was time for me to be selfish and take control of my life.
I was well acquainted with the demon that lived inside my head, and if I stopped waging war against her, that sick bitch would ensure I got everything I wanted, and everything I deserved.
Tito stopped pacing when he finally realized I wasn’t paying attention to a word he was saying.
“You’re not even listening.”
I stood from the ground so fast he was still looking at the spot my ass had been when I stepped up to him and placed two fingers on his lips.
“What––”
“Shhh,” I hushed him. “You’re done talking. It’s my turn now.” Keeping my digits pressed to his mouth, I continued. “I don’t think you understand just how unlike you I am.
I want you to forget that girl you thought you knew. She doesn’t exist. She never did. I’m not a good person. I’m as unholy as they come, and your opinion of me is not going to make me change who I am.” Dropping my hand, I took a step back, holding his gaze.
He stared back at me, and I could see the silent questions burning in his eyes. When did I get so cold? What happened to my soul? That was proof enough for me that he had no idea who he’d let live under the same roof as him.
The gullible fool tried to use me as the key player in a game he never had a chance of winning. Unfortunately for him, I was done being anyone’s pawn the day he found me. I refused to be a goddamn stepping stone.
After giving him one last unimpressed look, I turned around and walked away. His hoarse voice called after me; I ignored it. I wassoover judgmental, hypocritical assholes.
