Page 3 of Ghana
“Why?”
“I wanted to hang out with you today. I’m on break from school, so I figured we’d go to the arcade today.”
Kenz was sixteen and still in high school, so I knew she wanted to get out and do something because she was on spring break.
“That’s cool. We can do that.”
She smiled. “Cool. Let me wash this crap off my face.” She headed toward the door. “And make sure you hit that mouth.Your breath kicking like Liu Kane, bruh.” She laughed as I tossed a pillow at her, and she ran out of the room.
I got out of bed and went to my adjoining bathroom. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and then got in the shower. Since graduating high school, it seemed like Ashanti was hell-bent on keeping me in the house. Not today, though. I was eighteen now, so her days of stopping me from leaving this house were over.
Once I was dressed, I went downstairs and saw the two envelopes sitting on the dining room table. I picked up the first one. It was thick and had my name on it.
When I opened it, it was filled with cash. My eyes ballooned at the stacks inside. I scanned the bills, mentally counting out about four thousand dollars. As an eighteen-year-old, that was a lot of money.
Where the hell she get all this from? Is this some kind of apology for how her ass been treating me all these years?
So many questions ran through my mind, and the answers I sought were within the second envelope.
I picked it up, opened it, and saw it was a note from her.
Ghana,
Tek care of ya sista. De bills have been paid up for a year, after dat, you are responsible for it. I will not be returnin’ home. You are eighteen now, and I did all I can do fa ya. It’s time ya tek care of yaself and ya sista. Dat’s all de money I been savin’ fa ya. Do what ya will wit’ it. You don’ wan’ Merrick to live wit’ us, den ya can live alone.
I left ya sista because I know ya would have a fit wit’out ha. Tek care of yaself Ghana.
-Mum
Each word jumped off the paper, slapping me in my face like a ton of bricks. There was no way she did this shit to us—tome. Just when I needed her the most, she did this shit. Apparently, the meds I’d been taking were no match for the rage I felt. I could feel my heart rate increasing, and before I could stop myself, I flipped the table over and kicked it across the room.
I had no idea how long I had blacked out, but when I came to, Kenzi stood against the wall with tears rolling down her cheeks, and the table had no wins. I closed my eyes tightly, dropped to my haunches, and wept.
Fuck! I spazzed again.
I wasn’t intentionally trying to hurt anyone, but Ashanti brought about this burning rage inside of me that I couldn’t control each time she did some fuck shit to me.
She didn’t give a fuck about us. She ran off with that nigga and left me to take care of my sixteen-year-old sister.
My rage was warranted.
I felt Kenzi’s presence approaching me cautiously and looked up at her with regret.
“I’m sorry,” I said, voice coming out like a small child. Kenzi rushed me and wrapped her arms around me. I held her back, realizing that we were now on our own, and I had to do everything I could to make sure she stayed cared for and protected.
Present Day
Nichelle set the table while I finished making the waakye. It was an African dish with rice mixed with black-eyed peas. I finished with the spaghetti, plantains, and fried chicken ten minutes ago.
Kenzi and Ruger were coming to visit us for a little while since Nichelle was due next month. Since the day she told me she was pregnant, I had been on pins and needles.
So many doubts and worries that my baby girl would come out with mental health issues fucked with me daily. I didn’t want my kid to ever go through what I went through all her life. That was no way for a child to live, and I didn’t want that for her.
When I asked Nichelle to get an abortion, she spazzed on me and refused to talk to me for weeks. It wasn’t that I didn’t want my baby; I just didn’t want my baby girl coming out fucked up like me.
It took me apologizing and us having a heart-to-heart for me to finally allow myself to accept that I had a baby coming.
I loved my girl.
