Page 88 of Below The Surface
“Sounded good,” Hayden says, holding up his phone.
Dallas holds out his hand, and I take it. There’s something so comforting about his big warm hand covering mine. Sure, I’ve had countless hookups, but Dallas. There’s something about Dallas that soothes me. I have to remind myself he’s not a hookup anymore, he’s my partner. At least he is so far. He could decide by the time we get to Influencer Con that he wants nothing to do with me, then I might have to kill him too.
I pull my phone from my pocket and start making an order. I’m not ready to talk to anyone, but being around them is fine. My headphones still ring around my neck and if the noise gets too loud, I’ll pop them back on. Funny. Heavy bass soothes me, but the sound of clattering loud people around me makesme want to run through a window. Steel wool scrubs inside my brain. I really need to take out Charles sooner rather than later.
The door clucks loudly as we enter. Nope. The headphones go on and I sigh in relief.
The scent of fried food hits me in the face, but not in a bad way. I breathe it in. Oh, maybe I need food. That will probably help.
We make our way to the short line and I watch the tracker on my phone as they work on my order. Had I realized they had kiosks inside, I would have waited to order. Oh well.
Doesn’t take long for all of us to get our meals and instead of eating in, we take it back to the RV.
Dallas slides in next to me in the dinette, trapping me in, but it makes me feel safe instead of terrified. We’re all silent and I hate that it’s probably because of me, but I’m still not ready for more words. I worded hard today already. I deserve quiet lips to process. Or to scheme.
Kendra knocks her shoulder into Hayden’s. “How old are you? You’re the little nerdy behind-the-scenes guy. Everyone knows Dallas is thirty-two because three months ago you made a whole birthday post.” She squints at Hayden. “You’re younger though. I just feel it in my bones.”
Thank fuck for Kendra for breaking the tension. It’s as if we all release a breath.
“Twenty-eight.” Hayden bites into his chicken strip and his eyes flutter back. “Holy fuck, this is good.”
We all hum in agreement. Everyone keeps away from heavy topics while I eat and listen. When I’m done, I wipe my hands on my napkin and drop my head onto Dallas’s shoulder.
So tired. Mentally and emotionally exhausted. I can’t do the vulnerable thing every day. I rub my head along his arm before settling down. Just need a bit of comfort.
Dallas wraps his arm around me. “Do you want cuddles when we get started again?”
I nod.
“It’ll be a tight squeeze back there,” Kendra says. “Unless you want to push the twins together. Or stay up here on the couch.”
I tip my head toward the couch.
“Couch it is,” Dallas says before kissing my temple.
We wrap up lunch and Kendra takes over the driving while I cuddle next to Dallas. I pass out wrapped in his arms.
29
DALLAS
Casey is so calm, and it’s strange. He’s soft in sleep and I hope he has pleasant dreams and not nightmares. He can be someone’s nightmare, but he doesn’t deserve any. He and Kendra perform a public service if you ask me.
He’s not subdued for long. When we stop for dinner, he’s his chatty self. Well, more chatty than he’d been after his confessions. There’s light in his eyes. He takes the reins again after dinner and he seems happier. Hopefully his demons let him rest tonight.
We stop at a Wal-Mart parking lot for the night after Casey charms them to let us. Apparently, not all Wal-Marts allow for overnight stays. I don’t think I ever thought of it as an option to begin with, but I don’t envy those that have had to make it work.
We’re all hunkered down. Casey wears another silk pajama set. This pair is long pants with a tank. I wish it were one of his short sets, but I won’t complain.
Dallas takes the other twin bed in the bedroom while Casey convinces me the couch is where we want to be since I’m too tall to be comfortable in the dinette. He’s not wrong about the ample space on the couch once it’s pulled out into the bed.
When I open my arms for him, he plops down and scoots close. He hides his face in my chest and won’t meet my gaze.
“No sex tonight.” He shakes his head and swallows. “Probably not until after...”
“That’s fine.” I kiss the top of his head. “I’m good with whatever you need.”
“This. Just this.” He wraps his arm around me. Then his leg. I listen to his breathing, calm and steady. Deep and slow. It soothes me and my raging heart. Who or what would he have been if not for what he had to deal with?
