Page 86 of Below The Surface
“Shit.” She unbuckles and pulls him in her arms. “I love you, you know. You’re safe.”
“Not until Charles is fucking dead. I want to flay him. Scoop his eyes out with a melon baller. I want to do so much to him.” Casey curves his hands as if they’re claws. “The fact I share DNA with him makes me sick to my stomach.”
I swear my head spins. Everything quiets except for the soft roar of the RV.
Kendra shakes her head when I give her a look.
“You can’t choose who you share your DNA with, but you chose your family, Casey. He’s just your blood,we’reyourheart.” She presses her hand to his chest. “You’re nothing like him.Nothing.”
Before, I understood why Casey did what he did. Now I have insight I hadn’t had before.
“You’re not a monster,” I say.
“To some I am.”
“They’re the monsters, you’re Justice.”
Casey just nods. “Nap. I need... I need silence and calm.” He reaches over the couch into one of the overhead cabinets to retrieve a set of hot pink headphones. He’s silent as he walks to the back of the RV and closes the accordion door between us and the bedroom.
I move to stand, but Kendra shakes her head. “He needs to be alone. He’ll be okay.”
She squeezes my shoulder before going back to the passenger seat.
She and Casey have been through so much. I wish I could go back in time and change things for them.
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
Kendra sighs, but it doesn’t sound like she’s upset with the question. “No. When he gets like this from feeling overwhelmed, he really does just need some alone time. Might be a few minutes, might be a few hours, but he’ll be okay.”
“I hate feeling useless,” I mumble.
“I can teach you how to drive this beast,” Hayden says.
Kendra snorts. “If you’re tired, I can take over at the next exit.”
“I’m actually enjoying myself. Other than your fucked up past. I’m sorry y’all had to live through all that.”
“We got through it. Now we’re living the dream.”
“So,” I start. “The mermaid thing. Your idea or his? There’s the trans allegory about transformation and everything, so I wonder.”
“It was his. The first time we saw the ocean, he got obsessed. Then he started learning about the ocean and mythology. He was fascinated by the idea of merfolk. Found out there were people that did this for a living. Casey doesn’t really do anything in halves. We took the free diving classes, acting classes, makeup, etc. ect. Everything it took to grow our business and be one of the best merfolk companies in the industry.”
“Does everyone know about...” I look around, searching for the words.
“Oh, absolutely not. But our pod knows we lost Dorian, and it’s affected us. Everyone in our pod has been affected by suicide or sexual violence. Being mer helps us heal.”
“That’s beautiful,” Hayden says.
“I’m glad everyone has each other,” I say.
I can barely see Hayden nod. “I don’t know where I’d be without Dallas.”
My cheeks go red. I feel the same about him, but platonically. There’s nothing romantic about our friendship.
“Without you, I’d probably end up like my brother. The support group helps a lot, but your friendship saved me.”
I scrub a hand through my hair. “That feels like a lot of pressure, but I’m honored.”
