Page 116 of On a Rogue Planet
“Xander—” she released a long breath, not quite meeting his eyes “—we both know what we shared…it was intense. Magnified by the circumstances, the danger, your injuries?—”
“It felt real to me.” Every precious second of it.
She wrapped an arm around her middle. “You’re a CenSec, dedicated to Centax. You told me I’d never be more important than your planet.”
And he’d believed it when he’d told her that. Now, he didn’t. “Malin, what?—”
“You also deserve to take some time for yourself. I’m the only woman you’ve really been with. What if you find someone else you like more?—?”
“I won’t. I loveyou.” He didn’t have years of experience with women, love, or emotions, but he knew what he felt.
“Xander—”
The door opened and Xenia stepped into the room. “Xander, the Prime is here with several councilors. They need to see you.”
He slammed a fist into the desk. “I’ll be there in a minute.”
Malin stared back at him. “You have to rebuild your planet, reassure your people. Centax needs you.”
“And you don’t?”
She looked like he’d slapped her, then her gaze slid past him. “No.” A bare whisper. Then she straightened her shoulders. “Your people need you more, Xander. They need your strength, your stability, your love.” Her voice broke. “I need to get home. I’ve got orders to fill, parts to strip, customers to see.”
He tried to read her face, but for the first time since he’d known her, it was as blank as a CenSec’s.
“Xander?” Xenia again.
He bit off a curse. “I’m coming.” He kept his gaze on Malin. “This is really what you want?”
She didn’t lift her head, was looking at her hands. “Yes.”
He booted up every single dampening filter he had. He gave a brisk nod. “Thank you for all your help. Centax is grateful for your assistance in recovering the Antikythera. We will of course, compensate you and your cousins for your time.”
She looked up now, her face pale. “That’s not?—”
He kept talking, continuing over her. “And I thank you for everything else you took the time to show me.” Now he knew the highs and lows of loving someone.
He wasn’t sure he liked it at all.
“Xander—”
“I have to go.” He stood. “Be well, Malin.” He turned the screen off.
Then he dropped back into his chair.
“Xander?”
Xenia stood inside the door, watching him. “I need a moment.”
“Are you okay?”
He heard a crunch and saw the Sync in his hand crushed to pieces.
No, he wasn’t okay. And he wasn’t sure he ever would be.
It had been four days,seven hours and, Mal glanced at the Sync attached to her environmental suit, twenty-one minutes since she’d left Xander.
She’d been right. It felt much, much worse now than it had then.
