Page 13 of On a Rogue Planet
“So they broke the rules? Isn’t that dangerous?”
“There is risk of emotional deadening.”
That didn’t sound good. “Which is what, exactly?”
“The risk that the subject’s ability to feel emotion will be completely destroyed.”
Sweet scrap. They’d do that to a child? “Did that happen to you?”
A long moment of silence. “Most people will tell you that I feel nothing.”
“It’s true, then, that CenSecs have no emotions?”
“That’s what people say.”
“And that’s not an answer.”
“Most CenSecs have emotions. They’re usually just dampened by our implants and filters when required. It makes us more efficient at our jobs.”
“None of those pesky emotions to get in your way.”
“Yes.”
“How did your parents feel about you getting your first implant?”
“Honored. They signed me over to Centax Security.”
Mal gasped, her chest heavy. “They…gave you away.”
“Yes.”
Just a single emotionless word. Mal couldn’t imagine it.
Xander’s fingers flexed. “It made sense. I was well suited to security. And they had my younger brother, Axton, to focus on.”
“Sorry, Xander, but I can’t understand how two people can make a child and give him away. My parents adored me. My mother died when I was young, and my father never got over her death, but I know he loved me and she did, too.”
“I don’t believe in love.”
Oh. “Really?”
“I deal in facts. I have never felt love. I have seen people do terrible things in the name of love. And I have never experienced love from my family.”
Her heart squeezed. “Never?”
“They felt some degree of affection, but on Centax, honor and achievement are just as important. For my parents, the honor of my selection to Security was a reasonable trade for the loss of a son.”
Her heart clenched. But what about him? The little boy who lost his family? “So Security looked after you?”
“Yes. They were responsible for my training.”
“That’s not what I meant. Did someone care for you? Hold you? Hug you?”
“No. Hugging is not encouraged.”
A small alarm sounded, shattering their conversation.
“Environmental systems failing,” the computer chirped, the synthesized voice too cheerful for their current situation.
